Sparky's Pooping Grounds

Merged!

2010-01-19T11:25:00.003-06:00

Mom was having trouble keeping up with so many blogs, so she stuck me and Izzy together. Please join us over at our new home, Chihuahua Caliente!

So tired

2010-01-15T22:19:00.002-06:00

Mama got lost in a book and I drifted off to my happy place.

Christmas Greetings

2009-12-27T20:57:00.004-06:00

Hello my canine amigos! I hope you all had a great Christmas season and were pawsomely blessed with lots of toys and treats. We didn't get anything....yet. My mom is going to personally take us to the pet store to pick out the gift of our dreams. Will keep you posted.
We had a ton of fun with our human family. By the end of the day, I was wiped out. That was really better than a new toy.

My Carbon Pawprint

2009-12-23T15:14:00.010-06:00

Okay, I think these environMENTALists have crossed the line. They are now saying that me and my canine amigos have a larger carbon footprint than a SUV. Are they kidding? I don't even have feet, I have paws, thank you very much. Besides, I don't even drive! How much damage can I really cause?

My mom is incensed about this whole matter. Besides the glaringly obvious error of using the term footprint, these "New Zealand researchers" claim that because I eat meat that goes into my dog food, that I should feel guilty for living because it takes too much farmland to feed me.

In my household we all try to be responsible about waste, but this is taking an issue way too far and then some. This must be that slippery slope mom always talks about. Before you know it we'll have to bottle our personal emissions (if you get my drift) in a jar and pay a tax on it. Sound ridiculous? At this point, nothing the government tries to tax would surprise us.

Look at this quote: "Any claims on the Earth's resources, whether it's having pets or having children, we need to think about. It doesn't necessarily mean getting rid of your pet now,” Lester Brown, president of the Earth Policy Institute, tells ABC.com.

What does he mean, NOW?! I hope Mr. Brown comes to our house because I will feel no remorse as I'm biting his ankles. If I could jump higher, I'd gladly bite something else. And those researchers...I'd really like to pass along my sentiments to them also. Hmph.

Just the Dip, Please

2009-12-20T16:37:00.006-06:00

This is a public service announcement: I do not accept chips or crackers unless they have been dipped in sauce or cream cheese dip. I'm not picky on the dip — just dip it in something. Plain crackers are not palatable. You see, my taste buds have become more developed over the years thanks to all the human food sampling I've been *forced* to partake in. (tee hee)

You may now resume your regularly scheduled programming. Thank you.

Brrrrrr!

2009-12-03T19:50:00.004-06:00

Cold, cold go away. Come again some other day! My chihuahua bones can't handle this. And the humans expect me to do my "business" outside. Hmph! Let's see how they fare when they have to walk outside in bare feet and stick their hineys out in this weather! I would LOVE to see that! Just once.

Mad

2009-11-19T21:07:00.004-06:00

I'm a little perturbed at mama. While I was parked in front of the kitchen stove waiting for more scraps, Chance got the bright idea to jump on the couch to be next to mama. This NEVER happens. Never. No telling how long he was there, selfishly gobbling up all her attention.

As soon as I got wind of what was going on, I raced back to the living room and tried to bully him off. Well, mama was having none of that. She fussed at me and pushed me away! I couldn't believe the obvious act of treason happening right before my very eyes.

Finally, Chance jumped down and I snuggled back into mama's lap thinking all was well in my world again. But he still acted like he wanted back on the couch. This caused me to go into patrol mode, walking up and down along the edge, growling. He was clearly testing my authority. Mama told me that if I was going to misbehave like that I should go elsewhere. Misbehave? Um, it's called protecting your territory. She doesn't understand anything.

Then she said, "I'm the boss, Sparky; not you."

Hmph! When the heck did that happen?

M.I.A.

2009-11-14T13:51:00.006-06:00

My most devoted human has been taking care of her mother who lives out of town. This has caused a delay in blogging. I wish I could blog myself, but I don't have opposable thumbs which are apparently much-needed digits if you are going to have a blog. I'm good at dictating, so I kind of need a human with those special thumbs to help me get the word out.

Let's see, I have been missing my mama a LOT! Daddy is great, however, he is pretty enamored with Izzy, and I have little chance of usurping her position. All I have is Chance to boss around, and my choice of several beds around the house. Lately, I have become quite fond of Izzy's bed inside of her crate. It's my little get away spot when everyone is annoying me.

When my mama finally returned I was overcome with joy. I growled at the other dogs for horning in on the special greeting I had prepared for her. She fussed at me, too. Not at all the kind of appreciation I expected. But I got over it quickly as we all settled in with our comfy blankies to watch TV. Ah, life is good again.

Snuggling

2009-10-17T21:33:00.005-05:00

I love autumn because that's when my mom breaks out her thick, cushy, soft purple robe. She wears it around the house all evening, then when it's time for bed, she removes it and folds it nice and thick right beside her pillow. It's all warm from her body heat and my chihuahua bones are very thankful. Life just doesn't get any better than this.

Walk of Shame

2009-09-24T18:18:00.011-05:00

Sorry I've been MIA. Mom and dad went to Mexico and when they got back, mom began having something called "migraines". She's finally ready to help me blog and boy do I have something to report!

After talking with her vet friends, my mom took their reckless advice and brought home a doggie stroller for our walks. Apparently, one mile is way too long for a Chihuahua to ~~waddle~~ walk, much less a "senior" one. Hmph! The nerve.

Having no idea at first that this thing was for me, I started out walking with Chance like we normally do, thinking it was only Izzy who would endure the disgrace of being wheeled around the neighborhood. Next thing I knew, the humans stopped, took off my leash, and forced me into the degrading thing on wheels, zipping it up so I couldn't escape. I now had to view the world through black mesh, bumping along the sidewalk like an idiot, unable to mark my territory. You know how important that is to me, doggonit! I wanted to yell out "DOGNAPPED!" but instead of yelling I clawed at the screen, because you know, I can't form words. :/

I don't understand how Izzy has absolutely no pride. She actually seemed to enjoy being carted around in that pink contraption without caring a whit about how this looks to our social circle. And don't even get me started on the bright pink. Ick. Poo. Yuck. Can you say girly girl?
Here is daddy getting Izzy secured inside the humiliation vehicle. You can't really see me because I'm trying to get as far away from them as possible so that I won't be laughed at.
I think the look on my face tells you exactly how I felt.

Thank You!

2009-09-04T19:57:00.001-05:00

Thanks to Lilibell of Chi's and the City for this pawsome award. It says: your blog is like a pearl, rare, delicate and charming.

I'm so grateful. Many thanks also to Purple Hatter for creating this lovely award. High paws all around!

Embarrassing

2009-09-02T19:57:00.003-05:00

No, embarrassing doesn't begin to describe this photo. Extreme humiliation is more like it.

It's Time For: Wordless Wednesday!

2009-08-26T20:54:00.003-05:00

Less Words Wednesday

2009-08-19T07:30:00.000-05:00

What happened to my butt?

Wordless Wednesday

2009-08-12T23:36:00.001-05:00

I'm A Gem!

2009-08-07T14:36:00.004-05:00

Thank you so much to Bentley, Lexus and their mom for giving me this beautiful award. I am a little verklempt.

What Did You Call Me?

2009-08-07T10:37:00.007-05:00

I have so many aliases, I can hardly keep up. Apparently, my humans think it is okay to call me everything but the name that I was given.
Here are some of my nicknames:

Spark Plug

Sparky Plug

Sparkman

Sparkinator

Sparkykins

Sparkles *ewwww* *gag*

The last one is wrong. Just WRONG!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-08-05T21:26:00.001-05:00

The Walk

2009-08-01T20:07:00.006-05:00

Last night we all went on a walk! Well, I say ALL of us walked, but in actuality, Izzy was carried by Daddy like she's the Queen of Sheba. I mean look at her in that contraption! It was soooo embarrassing.

I managed to ignore the situation by performing the very difficult task of marking my territory about every 10 feet. I have my reputation to protect, you know. Mom kept pulling me forward saying we didn't have time for that nonsense. My macho image was at stake! Darn her.

No matter what this picture looks like, I am the Alpha Dog. hmmmph!

No Way Out

2009-07-29T21:14:00.007-05:00

Apparently, I gave Daddy a little panic attack this morning. When he got ready to leave for work, he couldn't find me anywhere. He couldn't find me up the stairs and couldn't find me under the beds. He looked up, down, and all around. He shouted my name inside and outside. Daddy began to think that I had vaporized into thin air.

I never said peep. As he yelled my name, I didn't bark to tell him where I was. I don't know why. Sometimes I'm just a quiet little fella who likes to mind his own business. Besides, this was my private refuge that I had uncovered all by myself, and I wasn't sure I wanted it exposed so quickly. The others might try to horn in on my new territory.

It all started when Daddy sat in the recliner early that morning and pulled the foot rest up. When he did that, I made the awesome discovery: it was all cavelike under there. It was dark and cool and unexplored. I was beyond excited to have a fresh new hide out place. I was wondering why I had never thought of this spot before. Of course I failed to realize that when he put the foot rest down, I would have no way out.

Daddy really strained his brain to think when he saw me last and that's when it dawned on him that I might be stuck under the chair. When he put the foot rest up, there I was, patiently waiting.

In order to get the most out of this ghastly situation, I put on my really pathetic face. Over the years, I have perfected this forlorn face. In fact, I used that face to get my mom to adopt me on the very first day we met, and it's worked ever since. But part of me was really sad that my new hiding place was no longer secret.

Izzy the Grouch

2009-07-17T12:11:00.004-05:00

Well, the domination of Izzy continues. She has effectively taken over the entire household, including the food bowls. Even if I happen to get to the food first, she glares at me with a death stare until I move away. Once she has achieved this I am not allowed back at the bowl until she is finished.

Izzy is a very slow, yet voracious eater with a very tiny mouth, so it takes for-ev-er. If I get brave enough to stick my nose in she has the audacity to growl at me and show her teeth. It is a very unpleasant experience.

Food is my life. Well, my momma, too. What can I do with her?!

This Sign Stinks

2009-06-04T12:59:00.004-05:00

My mom's daughter, Autumn, took this photo during her vacation in Portland, OR last year. It has just come to my attention and I find it completely and utterly crass. Besides, as my mom is well aware, when I have to go, I have to GO. How is she supposed to stop me? Yeah, that's what I thought.

My Mom, the Puparazzo

2009-05-19T20:48:00.010-05:00

My mom, the puparazzo, is in full swing again. All I wanted was a peaceful evening on her lap. Instead I was forced to pose on a frilly blanket and asked repeatedly to smile for the camera. I'm a very private per...er...canine. Can't she see that I'm not enjoying this? When the ears lay flat on my head that is not a good sign. I've seen what Kiefer Sutherland does to paparazzi. Does she want me to go all 24 on her tail?

She did get one good action shot of me hunting the bunnies in our back yard, except the photograph doesn't show my tail which is always curved perfectly when I'm stalking prey. That would have really done a lot to enhance my macho image. Mom, can you do a better job next time of getting my entire body in the frame?

Checking In

2009-03-06T14:26:00.006-06:00

Not much to report on the home front lately. My days are spent pining for my mom while she's away doing whatever it is she does, and sleeping. Oh, and eating - can't forget the most important activity!

Izzy started some kind of Savings & Bone plan by hiding food all over the house. Most of the time she forgets where she makes her deposits, and guess who benefits? My sniffer would outperform the best Bloodhound. She's really not very careful with her hiding places. I found a piece of kibble in my dog bed the other day. Maybe she was leaving me a treat. Who knows. She also left a morsel next to the toilet which mom found. She knows mom doesn't eat our food! That girl is an enigma.

Mom bought me a cushy new bed for her office because she didn't like the color of the other one. The replacement is much thicker and softer, so I wholeheartedly approve of the change.

Well, that's about it. I might bark some more later.

Happy Birthday To Me!

2009-02-09T20:45:00.004-06:00

Happy Birthday To Me
Happy Birthday To Me
Happy Birthday Dear Sparky
Happy Birthday To Me!

Did I get a fancy cake? Did I get a big party to celebrate the big day? No and no. Oh, mom and dad gave me something all right. Can you guess what it was? No? Okay, it was a #%$#&! LOW CALORIE dog biscuit! They said it's for my own good and so I can live at least 7 more years. Who wants to live 7 more years eating that tasteless crap? I'll just continue to scavenge for the tasty treats the rabbits leave for me in the backyard. There! Problem solved.

Spoiled

2009-02-06T10:19:00.007-06:00

I bet you think I'm going to talk about how spoiled I am, right? I wish! It's not me, it's Izzy. Look at her showing off her necklace like she's Queen Isabella of France instead of the ordinary canine she actually is. She's spoiled rotten by mom and dad, and she's also spoiled the fun for Chance and me, so the title of this post has a dual meaning. I'm really, really, very, VERY put out with Izzy right now.

Ever since Christmas, she has had some sort of ailment requiring medical attention. After the big to-do over her hospitalization, she has had three more "episodes". Such a drama queen. A few weeks ago she had a vomiting spell so severe that dad actually prayed to God to transfer her illness to him. She was incoherent, wobbly, and weak. After injecting water in her mouth with a syringe, she started coming out of it. Dad really thought she was a goner that time. They made a big deal over her for several days.

I was a little hurt.

Last week she had vomiting and diarrhea. More dramz! Izzy gets the whole house in a tizzy with her hysterics.She received special food that I was shooed away from at least a dozen times. Sometimes I don't feel so hot either, but I don't make a big deal about it. Perhaps I should feign illness to get special food and treatment.

Fast forward to last night: Mom came back from the store with fresh vegetables, saying she was finally going to eat healthy. Right away I didn't like the sound of that. She bit down on an orange stick and gave Chance and me a small piece. As I suspected, this food was revolting. We both spit it out in disgust with a WTF look on our faces. Izzy ran under Chance's nose and snatched the rejected scrap. Mom tried chasing her around the house to get it back, but she was too fast for mom. A couple hours later, Izzy's muzzle swelled up, making her look like a Shar Pei.

Once again, mom went into panic mode. Here we go!! Dad grabbed the benadryl and syringe in a knee-jerk reaction. Mom started telling him in that stressed out voice I hate, to let her call a friend to see what the correct dosage should be. She couldn't get her friend, so she googled and googled for almost an hour. Finally, they settled on a minuscule amount. They also decided that human treats were out of the question for ALL OF US. I can't tell you the state of depression that has put me in.

This morning Izzy's face was back to normal. Mom and dad were relieved. I just wonder what other shenanigans this hypochondriac has up her sleeve. To be continued...

A Doggone Great Christmas!

2009-01-03T14:22:00.004-06:00

Our Christmas gatherings were very exciting this year. The parties included some little people that were very careless and clumsy with their food. I hit the jackpot. Shadowing each one closely, I cleaned up their little messes as they went from room to room.

Izzy didn't fare so well with this practice as she ended up going to the hospital two days later. You can read more about her experience here.

In addition to the human food, all us canines were given our own container of liver treats! Yay! That is my absolute favorite dog treat. The strong aroma of liver sends me into orbit every time.

By the end of the night, I suffered mild humiliation at the hands of the wee ones. The human food I was able to get from them made it all worth it, though.

Help! I've Been Elfed!

2008-12-05T10:09:00.001-06:00

My mom is constantly thinking up ways to embarrass me.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Photo Shoot Time

2008-11-24T13:53:00.007-06:00

Mom turned into a paparazzo this weekend, all because Izzy got a new outfit. My ears always lie flat against my head when the camera comes out. I think that's my most flattering look. Thank goodness I wasn't forced to wear hideous clothes, although I am sporting a fairly new red collar.Here's Izzy front and center as usual. In this case, I'm really glad. I like being the background decoration for her humiliation. BOL!

Bye, Spenser!

2008-10-27T14:43:00.004-05:00

All last week I sensed Spenser failing. Mom's human boy, Greg, came to visit yesterday and cried a river of tears over him. Spenser tried to tell him it would be okay, but only Chance was able to put a paw on his shoulder to convey comfort. Spenser was having trouble breathing and his eyes were bloodshot and tired. It seemed he couldn't focus on anything. It was a sad, sad sight. The Beast, my nemesis, was growing dim. I don't know what the humans did, but they all got in the car and took him away. Mom returned later that night holding his leash and collar. Spenser was no longer with them. Chance and I sniffed, begging to know more, but they only said he had crossed the Rainbow Bridge, and we could not see him until we cross it ourselves one day.

Spenser, I'm sorry I bossed you around so much in life and hope you will forgive this grumpy, ol' fella. I really did love ya, man! You were a beast because of your size, but inside you were a true gentleman.

Check Me Out!

2008-10-12T17:19:00.001-05:00

New toy(s)!

2008-09-22T10:02:00.007-05:00

Yesterday I received a brand new toy and I adore it! Mom tried to give Izzy one just like it and she rudely turned her nose up at it and walked away! I would never act in such a despicable manner towards mom. Izzy's rejected toy was given to me because I'm such a devoted, loyal companion.

Here I am having a delightful time. These are the perfect size. I can squeak them all day if I want. If I wear it out, there's a spare squeaker. Thanks, mom!

I really wish mom didn't have to document every detail of my life.

I am really trying to communicate with my expression to give me my space and she just doesn't seem to get it. *sigh*

Mutiny

2008-09-10T19:12:00.012-05:00

Last night I was involved in a nasty altercation with Chance, the lesser beast of the pack. I was simply doing my job, ensuring the rules - my rules - were being obeyed. We had recently finished eating dinner with mom; dad had just arrived home, so I knew more crumbs were forthcoming. Chance was getting a little too chummy with dad too quickly which infuriated me. This was a clear attempt to usurp my authority and gain a higher position at my expense.

I warned him with a low, authoritative growl to back away, but the mulish creature ignored me! Insubordination from lower pack members is forbidden in my rulebook; therefore, I was forced to issue a harsher edict with a series of growls and lunges which meant, “Take another step and you’re going to regret it.”

Chance has always accepted his place within the pack, and while he might resist my commands at times, he usually concedes. Instead, he brazenly violated my last order, which gave me no other option but to hurl my entire body into him with full force. This action caused Chance to retaliate in a most violent manner, and before I knew it, he brutishly tossed me onto my back with his mouth, sinking his teeth into my neck. I struggled and fought to free myself from his surprisingly vicious attack. If dad had not been standing there, I may have drawn my last breath, right there by the stove, the appliance I treasure the most.

Once dad forced Chance to let me go, I walked slowly over to mom with the most pathetic look I could muster, a big tuft of Chance’s fur hanging from the corner of my mouth. I begged her with my eyes to defend my honor by flogging him in front of everyone. Instead, I received a very humiliating reprimand. I was informed that I am not the boss of anyone in the house, and furthermore, if I don’t mind my P’s and Q’s, I might not be so lucky next time. Humph! I don’t care what they say, I am chief dog around here!

I spent the entire day at the vet’s office getting the royal treatment. Dad even brought my cushy bed for me to loll around in. I had a very exciting day which helped put the whole ghastly experience behind me.

I'm Missing Out!

2008-08-26T20:41:00.002-05:00

Where are these parties? I want to get on the social circuit.

see more puppies

Izzy, Poo

2008-08-15T03:01:00.000-05:00

Izzy remains persistent in her efforts to annoy me at bedtime. To make matters worse, she clamors to get on mom's lap when I'm on there! Surprise, surprise. *smirk* I don't know how much more of this brat I can take. Seriously. It's no fun when I have to share mom. *pouts*

New Development

2008-07-31T13:25:00.006-05:00

Izzy is seriously starting to chap my tail. There are two crucial events each day that I look forward to with great anticipation. One is mealtime and the other is bedtime. It's bad enough that Izzy horns in on my plate licking, completely ignoring my angry growls, but when she begs to get into bed with mom and me at the end of the day, that’s a serious violation of the highest order.

When mom and I started sleeping in the big, tall bed due to daddy's snoring, I was forced to learn to climb a set of rickety steps in order to have bed privileges. It took a while, but I persevered. Mom tried to teach Izzy and gave up in no time at all. She scoops her up and Izzy immediately burrows underneath the covers to nestle into the softest part of mom's body: her midsection. She’s all, "Oh, Izzy's so small. There's no way she can climb those steps." They never make her work for things like I am forced to do.

Since this latest development, I am letting my contempt for the situation be known by ~~pouting~~ waiting under the bed until Izzy leaves to go night-night with daddy. Thankfully, her time with mom is only for a few minutes, which allows me to have the last bark. Once Izzy’s out of the room, I emerge from underneath the bed and jump confidently onto the soft mattress next to mom.

Why must I share my abode with this poopy girl and the other two beasts? I want to be an only dog, dangit!

Dog Speak

2008-07-14T20:38:00.006-05:00

Did you know that canines have their own internet slang and abbreviations? As part of your continuing education, I have assembled a short list.

Pawrents
Pawsome
Pawsitive
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BOL - bark out loud
PITT - pain in the tail
ROTFLMTO - rolling on the floor laughing my tail off
LMTO - laughing my tail off
OTOP - on the other paw
BAYL - bark at you later
YTDNM - you're the dog now, man

Never Trust a Cat

2008-07-08T15:43:00.001-05:00

Par-TAY

2008-07-07T15:54:00.011-05:00

Saturday afternoon mom suddenly asks, "Sparky, you wanna go party?"

I thought she said potty, but she opened the garage door instead of the patio door, and at that moment I realized she meant "PAR-TAY!" I dashed out to the garage and sat beside the car door to make sure she knew that my answer was "YES!"

Dad packed the car with food, drinks, and other assorted items. We drove a long way to a house where all my favorite humans were gathered. They were eating, drinking, and playing loud music. They also played frisbee outside until a good natured, but uncouth pit bull, took a big steaming crap right in the middle of the yard WHILE THEY WERE PLAYING! It was so stinky mom ran away gagging. There was no more frisbee playing after that.

I'm afraid my partying days are behind me. Mom snapped this picture of me several hours later:

Desertion

2008-06-30T15:33:00.006-05:00

I can hardly wait for my humans to be home on the weekends in order to give me their undivided attention. Most weekends, it works out splendidly. This past Friday, however, things started off a little shaky. First, the humans took out the big zippered bags from the top closet shelf. Immediately, Chance began to whine. Really, he sobbed like a baby. This got all the rest of us in a tizzy.

We had good reason to worry, too. The humans threw their clothes in those big bags and left with them early the next morning. They were gone before we even had a chance to say "woof". Dad put Izzy in the crate with food and the rest of us were left to fend for ourselves.

Later, mom’s younger human boy came over and spent the night. He was cool because he brought Leo over. We played and played.

Even though I was having fun, I kept wondering where our parents were and when they planned to return. I worried they may not make it back, so I had some posters made. The reward was going to be several liver treats - pretty tempting, huh?

Finally, late yesterday afternoon, they arrived home, tired and smelling of tamales. I was so overjoyed, I didn't even care that they didn't bring me a doggie bag. I was stuck to mom like glue for the rest of the night.

I've decided that the next time they get those bags down from the closet shelf, I'm going to jump in there and hide under the clothes when they're not looking.

Izzy the Pig

2008-06-24T09:53:00.005-05:00

Sunday morning Daddy put food in our bowls as usual. Izzy went straight for ~~our~~ my bowl without a second glance to see if I might want to go first. She turned into a ravenous little pig, right before my eyes, gobbling up the morsels before I even had a chance to react. I stood behind her waiting patiently for my turn and also to let her know that - hello! - others are hungry, too. She responded by growling, showing her teeth, and glaring at me. The nerve! I thought mom might come to my rescue, but she only laughed, muttering something about how I've met my match. Whatever! Needless to say, my feelings were hurt, so I went and stood close to mom hoping for some comfort, or at least a few tidbits of human food. All I received were a couple of obligatory pats on the head. Hmph! When did I lose control?

Porn Dogs

2008-06-17T10:26:00.001-05:00

Hubba hubba! Look at these sexy girls.

Toothacres

2008-06-16T23:50:00.000-05:00

Father's Day started out deliciously with mom barbecuing on the patio. Two paws up for the new barbecue sauce with Guinness beer in it! YUM-MEE!

After our fill of chicken, we rode out to Arbor Hills Nature Conservatory where I almost fainted from the heat. So did mom.

The day ended in a most interesting manner: visiting a graveyard. Not just any graveyard, but a pet cemetery called Toothacres. Apparently, mom and dad had other dogs before me, but they crossed the Rainbow Bridge before I was born and are buried at Toothacres.

Something about that place creeped me out. My sniffer went bananas and I couldn't stop zig-zagging around those carved stones. I think I had what they call the heebie geebies. Fortunately, we didn't hang around there for long.

Izzy's Blog

2008-06-12T20:24:00.000-05:00

Mom is forcing me to advertise Izzy's new blog in this post. I deeply resent this intrusion into my space with every strand of my fur. Okay, I've barked my peace, so go visit if you must. This is all the press she gets, though. *pouts*

Ooops!

2008-06-09T13:43:00.000-05:00

Hmm.....wonder what happened to Izzy's new toy? Too bad, so sad.

Well, I would've gotten away with it, but I choked on the stuffing for several minutes. I was forced to go to mom for help. Drats! I must learn to be more cunning.

All Is Well

2008-06-08T12:31:00.000-05:00

Last night dad gave me the last of that nasty pink liquid they call medicine. I'm as good as new now and hope to avoid fiascos like that in the future. Even if I forget, mom and dad have promised never to give me a ginormous treat like that again.

Yesterday, I was left in charge of the pack while mom and dad went out. I don't know where they went, but they were gone a very long time and returned to us smelling suspiciously of food. I think it was enchiladas, but there was a strong lime/tequila odor as well, so I can't be sure. I did notice there was no doggie bag for us, though. What nerve. Is that how you treat a supervisor? I kept everyone in line all afternoon and it was not an easy job.

All was forgiven later, when we were able to cuddle on the couch together - my 2nd favorite activity behind getting morsels of human food.

My Crappy Weekend

2008-06-02T13:10:00.001-05:00

Friday night, mom came home with 2 plastic bags filled with goodies - all for me us! The suspense was killing me as she dug through the bags, pulling out the new packages one at a time and setting them on the counter. Was it toys, treats, or both?! Her intent was to give us the goodies at the same time, so it took a while to open all the packaging and get everything ready for the BIG HANDOUT. My tail was wagging so fast, I nearly fell over. Spenser placed his nose on the counter which mom knew was an unfair advantage, so she shooed him off, bopping him lightly on the nose. "No Spenser, you have to wait." Good thing she reprimanded him because I was about to read him his rights!

Finally, after hours of waiting, she gave each of us a blue ball. Inside the ball was a large treat. Immediately, I noticed that Spenser and Chance had larger treats than mine, so I devised a plan to hide mine behind the sofa, then charge at Spenser forcefully in hopes that he would become so afraid that he'd run away like the big scaredy cat he is. At that point, I would carry his treat to my special place behind the couch, where I would savor both of them while at the same time going “neener, neener” from my safe place. Well, my plan backfired. Spenser bared his teeth and barked right back at me. His bark was so loud it nearly blew me backwards across the room. Spit even flew out of his mouth! Ah well, no harm, no foul, I coolly returned to my special place and started working on my little ball, trying feverishly to pop the treat disc out.

Spenser and Chance popped their treats out in no time flat. I ventured out from behind the couch to see what crumbs I could get from them, but they were gnawing away with such ferocity that I decided to play it safe, going back to my own scrawny little ball. Pretty soon though, I was able to get the treat out. I ate incredibly fast so that no one else could get it. Yay me!

The next day I pooped several times and my poopies had blood in it. I also threw up. Mom went out for a bit and when she came back, there was more poop and more vomit. Dad asked if we should go to the emergency room. Mom said to wait another day and see what happens. In the meantime, she checked my gum color and watched me like a hawk the rest of the day.

That night, as mom and I snuggled in bed, I moaned and groaned. During the night, I pooped again, but when Mom inspected it the next morning, there was no blood. Thinking I was getting better, she went to the movie with a friend and stayed gone for a long time. When she returned, I had more accidents in the house, including vomit. Daddy said we had run out of carpet cleaner. Since my gum color was fine and I had drunk a little water, mom and dad decided I would see Dr. Fred on Monday morning (today). Daddy even canceled his visit to the dentist, he was so worried about me.

Dr. Fred's nurses are sadistic! They stuck two contraptions up my bum, probed me all over, and peered into my mouth and ears. My displeasure was evident, but they didn't seem to care. Doc said my poop sample indicated that I had something called "enteritis". I was sent home on antibiotics, a liquid medication, and 3 cans of bland food. My $12 treat ended up costing an additional $71, lost sleep, and a new bottle of carpet cleaner.

Sadly, my body has betrayed me, because I'm pretty sure mom will never buy me a treat like that again.

Chihuahua vs Doberman

2008-05-30T10:15:00.001-05:00

Can you believe this little wimp was too scared to snatch the bone from that ogre? I would've had that bone in my mouth before you could say "boo". It's all in the attitude, people.

I'm Baaack!

2008-05-28T20:05:00.000-05:00

I miss journaling. Of course, mom has to bring my thoughts to life since my delicate paws are not equipped for the mundane task of typing. Pack leaders never perform menial labor, anyway. Where has she been lately, you ask? I can't prove it, but I suspect she has been doing her own journaling at my expense. Well, that's about to change. I do have a life and I want it reported!

For instance, today mom came home and completely threw me off schedule by going straight to the computer instead of to the refrigerator. I was aghast! 'What, no dinner?' I pleaded with my eyes. She continued to ignore me and type on the computer, while I sat there starving. Finally, an hour later she went downstairs and heated up a can of chicken and dumplings which has been our standby all week, and I must admit, it is yummy. For dessert we had a Nutty Buddy - that's my favorite part. Unfortunately, it's also the favorite of Izzy, Chance and Spenser. By the time mom divides the last little bit into four sections, it's hardly worth salivating for.

See, I do have important things going on in my life.

Well, that's enough thinking for one day; I need another nap.

Post Christmas Update

2007-12-27T10:34:00.000-06:00

Merry post Christmas, my pawesome pup pals! I hope everyone's day was fantastic!

Moi? My joyous holiday spirit quickly dissipated yesterday when Spenser destroyed the new stuffed toy Izzy and I received for Christmas. He made mince meat out of it in no time flat. It was blue and soft and squeaky. Izzy and I had just been playing tug-of-war with it not an hour before. I would love to be able to exact revenge by shredding his new bone to bits, but since that's impossible, I will continue my verbal lashings every time he comes near me or Mom. Watching him flinch when I lunge at him with my teeth bared gives me great pleasure. *insert diabolical barks here*

The humans bought themselves a stupid video game called Guitar Hero III. Instead of cuddling with me, Mom straps a guitar around her chest every night for hours. What's up with that? It's a cold piece of plastic and it's annoyingly loud. But like a good dog, I keep her spot on the couch warm until she eventually puts the noisy game away.

Izzy has begun sleeping with Mom and me at night. My space is right beside Mom's pillow, so when she tried to venture into my territory, I would emit a low warning growl. She eventually got the message and now has her own spot next to Mom's leg. I think I can live with that. Izzy is pretty cool and she's kinda cute with that tongue hanging out all the time. It's the two big goons that get on my last nerve.

Well, I hope to update my diary more often in the coming year. I miss it here.

I WON!

2007-03-19T09:50:00.000-05:00

After months of waiting, it has finally been confirmed that I won a contest to be featured at the end of the Firehouse Dog movie! That's right; my handsome mug will be shown during the closing credits. My big break has finally arrived - woof woof! To think I was worried that Leo's sauciness would win them over, or that Spenser and Chance would sway them with their thick, red coats. I should have had more faith in my cuteness. Look at me now - Hollywood bound! I must get into shape quick in case Speilberg or Oprah come calling!

HO HO HO! Hum

2006-12-19T14:11:00.000-06:00

Hey everybody! It's been a while. Let's see...I'm still waiting for the walking regimen to happen. When the humans start a new year I might have a chance then for a firm, slim bod. Mom says we are just too busy to entertain such ideas at the moment, but starting in 2007, we will work our buns off.

Tonight, mom and dad are having guests over, which means that we will be treated like second class citizens. The guests are not "dog people" whatever that means! Mom will be extra nice to us afterwards and give me more treats than anyone else I bet. Well, a pooch can dream, can't he?

On Christmas Eve we will have mom's kids over. Leo and Callie will be there too! That will make 5 dogs and 6 people. Quite a zoo when we're all together. The great thing about them is that they ALL love dogs - especially us. We get lots of attention and treats. Last party had a few of us canines licking the insides of the wine glasses. Now that was a par-TAY!

Merry Christmas everyone. I love all my pup pals and wish them the best Christmas and New Year!

Plugging Along

2006-10-10T16:45:00.000-05:00

Mom has come up with a new nickname for me and dare I say it is not very flattering. In fact, I may require therapy soon to deal with the emotional scars. She calls me Rump Roast. Actually, she says, “Come here my little rump roast with legs.” She tries to disguise her insult in that sing-song voice, but she’s not fooling me. T-Bone is a more masculine reference, which I would be more than happy to respond to. But, rump roast? I have decided that I will not respond to that unless she is referring to a large piece of meat cooking on the stove and is about to give me a big juicy taste.

“Exercise” is another word that keeps cropping up in conversation lately. She calls us both pudgy and claims that a good walk around the neighborhood every day will cure our stoutness. So far, all we’ve done is discuss the matter for several days. I am patiently waiting for her to actually open up the cabinet door which houses my leash. If I knew how to open that door, I would take the leash out and bring it to her myself because it appears that we’re going to be in the talking stages for a good while.

Backyard Invasion

2006-08-24T16:35:00.000-05:00

I’ve discovered rabbits! A baby bunny rabbit to be precise. The best part is when you put one in your mouth, it squeals. The worst part is when mom runs towards me yelling at the top of her lungs. Only when I knew she was absolutely serious did I let go; however as soon as bunny hit the ground, Chance got it and he would not let go as quickly. Mom kept after him and he finally opened his mouth only to let Spenser get it! Well, Spenser is such a scaredy-cat; he immediately dropped it on the ground after mom yelled at him.

Mom looked like a maniac in the yard. It was quite comical watching her go round and round trying to save the little creature. Thankfully, bunny was only startled. The tiny critter sustained no injuries during the melee. Mom scooped it up into a plastic container and brought it to our dogless neighbor’s yard a few houses down.

Our backyard has never been so exciting! I can’t wait to go out now, even in this brutal Texas heat. In addition to my job guarding Izzy, I now have the added responsibility of keeping our turf free from invaders. Being the alpha dog is exhausting work, I gotta say!

A New Contraption

2006-08-22T09:29:00.000-05:00

Mom is always bringing home something to complicate my life. This time, she came home with a miniature staircase. Confused? I was too at first, but soon enough her hideous intentions were revealed. Keep reading.

Assembly was required which caused mom’s voice to become irritated and use naughty words. Already, I hated this new thing. Nope, I didn’t want anything to do with an object that put mom in a bad mood. Once she was done, she placed it next to the bed and announced that it was for me. Huh? Little did she know that I had already decided to boycott this piece of............work.

Later that night she crawled into bed and waited for me. I looked at her, then looked at those stairs that she positioned next to the bed. She really expected me to climb that rickety thing to get to her. No thanks; I’ll think of some other way to get in. She coaxed and coaxed, patting the steps with her hand. “C’mon Sparky! Don’t look so sad. This will help you get into bed easier.” Well, what happened to her picking me up and placing me in the bed? That’s what I’d like to know. #@*!?&#!.

Before I knew it, she switched off the light. Oh, the cruelty, the injustice. Once my eyes adjusted, I did what any proud dog would do; I lunged at the bed over and over and over. Finally, mom got tired of hearing me thud against the side of the mattress and picked me up. Ah, sweet relief at last.

I hope I have made my point and will not be forced to go through that exercise again! I love my humans and all, but this is ridiculous!

Little Pink Presents

2006-08-13T14:02:00.000-05:00

Today mom said she had to run an errand. Apparently she went shopping because she returned with several bags. Inside were 2 pink doggie beds and pink doggie toys. When she set the beds down to show daddy, I immediately jumped into the softest one and snuggled in. They laughed at me and said, "Sparky, you're too big for that bed and besides it's pink!" Why do I care what color it is?! So, I guess if it's pink, that means it's for Izzy. Yuck! Girls are icky! At least I rubbed my scent all over the new bed so she will be forced to think of me every time she gets in it. And my body fit perfectly in the space no matter what anyone says.

On to more serious matters. Izzy had to go to the doctor yesterday for an upper respiratory problem and something called Puppy Pyoderma, which is a mild skin infection. She had x-rays taken, as well as a thermometer shoved up her tiny bum. Mom said she screamed. Wish I could have been there for that. Hee hee. Izzy is on antibiotics and benedryl for 10 days. Next Saturday she may finally get her vaccines started. Oh, I hope mom will let me be there for that! I so deserve some gloat time.

Mom still calls me her baby and treats me the same as before; however, I no longer have exclusive time with her. I must share with the poopy girl puppy. I mean that literally by the way. She knows to use the newspaper for tee-tee, but she poops anywhere she feels like it. When mom and dad find her little presents, they only say, "Oh Izzy, your poop is smaller than a tootsie roll!" If I poop in the house I get reprimanded. I'm really surprised her poop is not pink.

My life at the moment is so unfair, but I still love my peeps. In the end, we're all part of a tight-knit pack. My main duty is to advise everyone of their place within the pack. This job can be exhausting at times, but someone has to be in charge.

More Izzy Issues

2006-08-11T09:15:00.000-05:00

As I suspected, the new creature is taking up most of mom and dad's time. In order to make them aware of my displeasure, I put on the most pathetic face I can muster. All my efforts at protecting IZZY seem to make not a whit of difference to them. She was even given the best privilege of all: being on mom and dad's bed. Spenser tried to jump up and sniff her, so I lunged at him, showing my teeth. He stayed away too, further solidifying my high rank in the pack.

I understand that a small *ahem* dog like Izzy needs more attention than the rest of us. Mom says when she gets bigger, she will not have to spend as much time with her. I hope that is the case because I am quite put out with the entire situation. I'm a patient fellow, but if things don't go back to normal soon, I may have to start acting out. Maybe a pair of shoes will suddenly be destroyed, or the edge of a rug chewed up. I'm sure I can come up with something.

In other news, it is now a new season of Rock Star. Mom is obsessed once again. I'll be so happy when this TV show is over. My ears hurt. Why do humans have to play music so loud? I guess they're just human beings, being human. So glad that I'm a dog.

Cheers all and have a great weekend!

Operation: Izzy

2006-08-07T22:25:00.000-05:00

It's now Day 3 of Operation: Guard Izzy. Quietly, yet firmly, I stand by her doorway day and night. I am taking these duties seriously and do not tolerate anything from my subordinates, Spenser and Chance. Izzy is very frail, and it is imperative that she receive top-notch attention. There is nothing that slips past me. I even take my naps right beside her crate, but never fall into a deep slumber. During my waking hours, I sit patiently, waiting for any infractions from my beastly brothers. When mom and dad finally secure her at night, I am relieved of my tasks for the day so that I may rest up for a new day of grueling guard duty.

This is now my life. I have accepted the tiny creature into our home with as much grace as possible. She is quite beautiful and small. Mom says she is a pooch, but I'm still not convinced of her lineage. Perhaps when she gets bigger, I will be convinced that she is truly a canine. Regardless, I am quite smitten with her, I must admit.

Well, off to bed for me. I see that Dogster will be shutting down for maintenance soon, and I need to get this posted before that happens. Nighty-night all my furry friends.

The Intruder

2006-08-05T11:17:00.000-05:00

The unthinkable finally happened. Mom accepted the new chi baby into our pack last night. I keenly observed that she arrived with a brand new bag of food. As you can imagine, the scent was overpowering. I parked myself by that delicious smelling bag most of the evening until mom moved it into the pantry. What a party pooper!

I have forgiven the lady who brought her to us because she came with food. A multitude of sins can be forgiven when food is somehow involved. If we have to tolerate this new critter, I hope she will share her grub with me.

This incredibly tiny creature has its own bedroom. I am beginning to worry that she will eventually take over our entire domicile. I fear a full scale invasion, but I am reserving judgment until I get to know her more. You know what they say: "keep your friends close and your enemies closer".

In the meantime, I have appointed myself Izzy's guardian. Every time Spenser and Chance go near her, I show my teeth and growl. Mom calls me "guard dog extraordinaire" whatever that means. I have drawn an invisible barrier around Izzy and I have dared anyone (except mom and dad) to cross it. I am pack leader after all, and it is my duty to preserve and protect the young and weak in our midst.

Dogster Rocks!

2006-07-27T08:54:00.000-05:00

Well, I must say I am so honored to be a Dogster Daily Diary pick! Thanks y'all! I try to keep our doggie pals updated as much as possible, with mom's help, of course. This is a wonderful forum for anyone even slightly obsessed with their dogs.

There have been rumors and grumbling amongst the pack that mom is considering bringing another chi into our midst. A poopy girl puppy at that! Well, I'm mama's baby, and always will be. Just so we're all clear on this matter, okay? We just got rid of Leo too! What can she be thinking? Well, my status as leader of this group will remain unchanged. I intend to make that known right away.

I will keep you all posted on this dreadful situation. Please keep me in your doggie prayers.

Sniffs & wags,
Sparky

Web Site Updates

2006-07-23T11:40:00.000-05:00

My mom's friend has a new web site for her dog training business. It's Four Paws Training School. If you live in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, and you find yourself in need of training services, I would highly recommend calling her. Mickey has been training dogs since 1974.

Not much is going on in Texas right now except for this scorching hot weather. We try to stay inside as much as possible to avoid the feeling of entering intense flames. Step outside here and you'll get a glimpse of Hades real quick. It ain't pretty!

Leo

2006-06-23T15:51:00.000-05:00

My annoying brother Leo has been given to mom's son and daughter-in-love who are now called "the newlyweds". Hannah has been asking to take Leo from day 1 and mom finally broke down. After much discussion, a wedding, and lectures, mom has decided that the newlyweds can keep him at their place. Mom says she will keep a close eye on things and if any problems arise, she will snatch him back.

It's been weird the last 3 days. I'm used to having his butt in my face all the time, or his big stinky face, which was the most aggravating thing you could possibly imagine. I no longer hide under furniture, pout, or growl unceasingly. The best part is that I have mom all to myself. At least until Chance and Spenser try to horn in. When they do that, I lay down the law real quick!

Hannah says Leo looks sad now. Of course he is! He doesn't have me to annoy any longer! Mom has a long face too, but in no time she will be giving me her undivided attention and start enjoying the peace and quiet around here.

Eventually, I think Leo will be happier in a home where he is the center of attention. Mom doesn't really want to admit that he was too much for her to handle. She's stubborn like that.

I'm perfectly content with the new equation: 3 canines and 2 utterly devoted humans. Actually, what would be perfect is to have 2 canines and 2 humans, but I don't want to push my luck. Although if one of us had to hit the road, it should be Spenser with his humping, burping, and other unmentionable noises. Mom won't hear of it though. She's the only one who can tolerate him. She says no one else would put up with all his "issues".

Another Update

2006-06-15T13:06:00.000-05:00

I was remiss in giving an update on the Chihuahua race situation when I wrote last. Mom finally came to her senses and decided not to register me. Boy, was I relieved. She didn't want to cause me any anxiety or put me in a situation where I could get heat stroke. The temperatures in Dallas are too extreme for this pampered pooch.

Update

2006-06-13T22:22:00.000-05:00

Mom and dad had to go to something called a "wedding" for Michael and Hannah last weekend. Apparently, humans have a big ceremony where they exchange rings and profess dying devotion to one another. Dogs just sniff, lick and maybe bite if we're particularly excited. Humans are so complicated. We were left in the care of mom's friend from the clinic, Jennifer and Jennifer's brother Kevin.

It was quite a wild party from what mom says. There was too much of a drink called "alcohol" which made some of the young men start a fight. Plus, it lasted until 3 in the morning. Mom says nothing good happens at that hour when alcohol is involved. I'm glad mom only supplies us with water.

In any case, they've returned to us, tired, but happy to be home. Now I can be lavished with the proper attention I am so used to. It's not that Miss Jennifer & Kevin didn't give me enough attention, but let's face it, there's no one like mom. Actually, Miss Jennifer is sort of a hero because she took Leo out of our hair for the whole weekend to stay at her place. Us big boys didn't have to hear him whimper and whine all day. For that, I will be eternally grateful to her.

Mom says there will be no more big events for the year if she can help it. Three kids getting married and a trip to Italy in the first half of the year are enough for her! And me!

Grazie Mille, They're Back!

2006-05-22T13:08:00.000-05:00

Notice I'm even learning a little Italian here? Every chance she gets, mom uses little Italian phrases on us. I'm even called Little Bambino sometimes. Can you believe they didn't even bring home treats for us? I was a little put out, seeing that they bought all the human children, family, friends and co-workers presents, but not one souvenir for their faithful pack. Grrrr.

Enough of this Italy stuff. Movin' on people!

Mom came home from work late, late Sat. night (well, really 2am Sun.) and announced that I will be in a chihuahua race in 2 weeks. Due to my over-indulgence of human leftovers, in addition to my own carefully selected diet, I am not in any shape to be in a race. Not to mention the fact that I am accustomed to being outside for a scant few minutes at a time. Is she kidding?? I must find a way to dodge this bullet. Perhaps I can feign an injury of some sort. I will gimp around the day before and hope she sees that there is no way I can compete. Does she really want to embarrass us both by letting me waddle in a public arena? Well, I refuse to be put on display in this manner, and I will do whatever it takes to avoid being a spectacle for the amusement of others.

There is always something I'm having to deal with around here. Why can't I just live my life in peace, quiet, and harmony without all these expectations?

Ciao, Ti Amo

2006-04-03T13:50:00.000-05:00

Translated: Hello, I love you. Wonder how that Doors song would have sounded in Italian? Not good probably. One good thing about mom and dad's trip is that Michael and Hannah will stay at our house so we don't have to be boarded. YAY! We'll all be together, just as normal.

Yesterday was our dreadful bath day. Spenser was first and he did not appreciate the cold water from the hose one bit. Mom had to pull him like a mule, then he would escape, and she would drag him over to the hose again. Round and round they went. Her glasses kept slipping off her face and falling in the soapy water. She ended up wetter than the dogs. I observed the entire spectacle from under a lawn chair, hoping not to be noticed.

Next was Chance and since he had already seen the wrong done to Spenser, he caused mom a lot of grief too by running away, shaking his soapy fur, and getting rounded up over and over.

I thought I was gonna get out of it when mom came in the house with the bottle of shampoo in her hands, but alas, she had other ideas. Apparently, the garden hose is not good enough for me, so thankfully, I was given the luxury of a proper bath in the human's tub.

After our fur dried, we were each subjected to brushing. Chance loves this part. His fur is the most beautiful and he welcomes any opportunity to show it off.

Leo was exempt from the entire ordeal. How fair is that??? Mom says his fur requires maintenance by a professional, so he will be going soon to someone called "groomer". I'd rather have mom bathe me than groomer.

Once all was calm again, I nestled into mom's lap for the rest of the evening. While the process of bathing and brushing seems barbaric, I love how clean I feel afterwards. And so does mom.

Where's Italy?

2006-02-10T12:13:00.000-06:00

Lately, mom and dad have been talking about a trip they're taking to a place called Italy. I hope it's not too far away from me, or even better that they're going to take me with them! However, based on my limited language skills, I'm pretty sure I'm not going. In fact, I do remember them mentioning that Leo and I would get to stay with Michael and Hannah.

Wonder where Spenser the goob and Chance are going to stay? If Chance has to board at the emergency clinic again, I hope he doesn't freak out like he did the last time. By the time mom and dad picked him up, he had stopped eating and was bleeding from his booty due to excessive diarrhea.

Wouldn't you know I did not get 9 treats for my birthday yesterday? Mom sang this stupid happy birthday song 9 times though. What's up with that? I tried to act like it didn't bother me by playing with my stretchy toy most of the night. I think I may have taken my anger out on Spenser, because I snarled at him everytime he went towards his favorite bone. Mom fussed at me each time too. Birthdays, apparently, do not give you the liberty to do whatever you please. Grrrr.

Happy Birthday To Me!

2006-02-09T09:39:00.000-06:00

Today is not my actual birthday, but it's the date mom chose for me because it's the day she rescued me 3 years ago. No one really knows the exact date I was born, which is kinda sad, but it's all about how my life ended up that counts, right?

February 9, 2003 is the day I began my new life. God must have been watching over me that day. How I did not end up getting hit by a car or mauled by a large animal is a miracle. Here I was, a little 6 lb. toot, wandering around a busy intersection. On top of that I had mange, among other ailments.

Mom, Dad and I wish only good things for the kind souls who removed me from that dangerous situation and brought me to the animal clinic. That's where I locked eyes with my mom and we've become inseparable ever since.

I wish I could tell everyone about my life before, but since that's not possible, we'll simply accept our good fortune at having each other. The past is not really relevant at this point.

Yes, February 9th is a great day in my book. I think I should receive at least 9 treats to mark the occasion. Doesn't that sound reasonable?

Obsessive Mothering - Help!

2006-02-07T16:13:00.000-06:00

My heart condition is causing my mom a LOT of anxiety. She apparently had a golden retriever who died suddenly from the same type of murmur. So, because of Frasier, mom has seen fit to ruin my sleep cycles. She pokes and prods me at different intervals all during the night to make sure I'm still alive. It's very frustrating. I wish she would stop and even SHE wishes she could stop.

Last night, for instance, I fell into such a deep state of slumber that I began to snore. According to mom, I was drawing in long breaths and making a strange sound as I drew in air, as though it took great effort. This alarmed her and she reacted by jarring me awake violently. "Sparky, Sparky. Are you okay?" Even after I woke up she wasn't satisfied until I came completely out of it. She kept nagging me until my breathing became normal and my eyes focused. She kept feeling around my chest too. I guess she was looking for a heartbeat. "You scared me Sparky" she whispered into my ear when she was satisfied that I wasn't dying. Needless to say, I was never able to achieve that peaceful state again.

I'll never understand my mom, but she does so many nice things for me. I suppose I can overlook her obsessive-compulsive tendencies; at least for now.

Lost

2006-01-30T16:56:00.000-06:00

I must say, having all of these dogs living in the house creates a nervous environment for me. At times, it's difficult to control all the others, plus make sure I get my fair share of crumbs the humans leave behind. My latest requirement is that I be left alone to perform my duties in the yard. Chance, Spenser and Leo are a distraction, rendering me unable to concentrate on the task at hand. At my age, regular eliminations are extremely important.

Last night, dad let me out in the backyard to relieve myself - which I did; but I also discovered a gap in the fence just large enough for me to squeeze through - which I also did, unbeknownst to dad.

This unexpected escape was thrilling, yet frightening all at once. Standing just outside the tall wood planks, alone in the dark, without my posse, caused me to suddenly rethink my impulsiveness. It never occurred to me to go back where I came from, so I started wandering, looking for familiar things or humans.

Suddenly, I heard dad calling me by all my names with a strong sense of urgency: Sparky! Spark Plug! As he went on, I realized that perhaps I needed to remain close to our dwelling, so I went around to the front of the house and noticed the front door. I remembered this tall object from our walks. There I parked myself until daddy came for me. Boy, was I relieved to see him and vice versa!

Dad had not told mom that any of this was going on. He said she would have freaked out. Dad was sorta freaking out himself, and he is not usually one to fall apart.

As soon as the human parents finished showering me with pets and kisses, I climbed into my bed, snuggled in, and attempted to erase the whole incident from my memory. A good night's sleep was just the ticket.

My adventurous years are obviously behind me. Besides, dad has ensured that I will never be tempted to do that again by blocking the escape route with a brick.

A Giant THANK YOU Howl to Dogster!

2006-01-13T12:58:00.000-06:00

My diary is one of the Daily Picks again. How wonderful to be chosen by the fabulous staff of Dogster. This truly is a great site for dog lovers. My mom and I have enjoyed every second being on here. If you post a problem or question in Forums, there are a multitude of kind souls to respond and offer advice. Leo had an illness a few weeks ago and there were so many dogs and their moms who were truly concerned. My love to all of you.

Thank you again, Dogster.

Sniffs and wags,
Sparky

Where Can I File Inhumane Treatment Charges?

2006-01-04T15:15:00.000-06:00

Night before last was so much fun. We were all taken on a long walk around the neighborhood. My smelling receptors were in high gear and my bladder seemed to produce just the right amount of liquid for each blade of grass or mailbox my heart desired. I was in true bliss.

Last night, however, Chance and I were subjected to a ghastly experiment which went horribly wrong. Mom brought some sort of contraption home that allowed her to tether Chance and I together while she held onto one leash. She said we were causing too much trouble on separate leads.

This new "strangler", as I like to call it, was torturous and provided no fun at all for me. Chance is at least 2 stories taller than I, which meant that every time I wanted to veer off to sniff something, Chance just jerked me along to wherever HE wanted to go. It was so unfair. Many times, I had to hobble off on 3 legs before I could even get a drop of pee out! I can't tell you how utterly embarrassing it was to be dragged along by the inferior one of the pack. I'm supposed to be in charge. Now everyone in the neighborhood thinks that Chance is in charge.

Spenser had his problems too. He was forced to wear a collar that went over his nose. Ha-ha! I wasn't the only humiliated pooch of the pack! Dad was basically leading him around by the nose to keep him from pulling. It would have been more amusing if I wasn't dealing with my own crisis, and my mom had refrained from laughing at me the entire time.

I swear! The humans are constantly thinking up new ways to torture us. I give so much love, loyalty and devotion to them too! When the humans first informed us that we would go on evening walks, I was so excited. I did hear mom tell dad this morning that she was going to exchange the current death trap strangler for a larger one. Please, God, have mercy on me.

Warning: Oklahoma Has Vicious Ticks

2005-10-31T15:28:00.000-06:00

Mom and dad took me with them to Turner Falls for a 4 day weekend getaway. My snuggly bed was placed between their seats in the car, so all I had to do was sit there like a king on a throne. I play that part very well.

Turner Falls is stunningly beautiful. Chickasaw National Recreation Area in Sulphur was even prettier. During our hikes we saw water falls, gold, red and green trees, springs, caves and even a castle. Where there was running water, dad would let me drink. It was so fresh; so much better than the yucky water in our bowl at home. Dad carried me a lot 'cause mom was afraid my heart would give out. She just won't forget about that stupid heart murmur.

Everything was going really well until we returned home. After getting our obnoxious greetings from Spenser and Chance, dad noticed I had a big red splotch on my inside back leg. Both mom and dad began inspecting me, which I detest, by the way. Dad noticed a black spot in the center of it and when he tried to pull on it, I yelped and started to bite. I didn't mean to bite, but it hurt so bad.

Mom scooped me up and drove to the emergency room. Lucky for me, mom knows everyone in there. All sorts of emergencies were going on and here is mom, acting like I'm dying or something. It was sooooo embarrassing.

Mom's friend took one look and said, "Yep, looks like a tick. Sparky, did you bring a visitor back with you?" As if I would purposely bring something as detestable as a blood-sucking creature back with me.

She put a muzzle on me and the nice nurse with the sense of humor pulled out the offensive little devil with a pair of hemostats.

As if all that wasn't stressful enough, mom gave me a really long bath when we got home. She said she was checking for more evil critters.

I'll be so glad when it heals up because I'm sick of being inspected. Did I tell you that I really hate that?

I do hope the next time we travel, I will have some say in where we go.

Something's Missing

2005-09-30T14:15:00.000-05:00

Earlier this week mom took Leo for a ride in the car. My pride was severely wounded when she took him instead of me for the coveted car ride.

When he returned the next day we sniffed him out and realized that he had come back with some - ahem - "parts" missing. The funny thing is, he didn't seem to mind too much. He is now an official member of our pack as we all have an equal number of body parts now. Leo plays rough and tough as though nothing happened at all. Well, he didn't really have a need for them anyway, so it's all good.

Signing off for the weekend.... Hugs, sniffs & licks to all my good buddies.

The Sparkman

The Big Finale

2005-09-20T09:53:00.000-05:00

Tonight is the finale for Rock Star: INXS. Finally! Maybe mom can return to normal after tonight.

The kids have been invited over for the (cough) *event*. A delicious round steak and gravy dinner is planned - Louisiana style. She hasn't cooked since Labor Day, so I am really looking forward to all the plates I am going to get to lick. It kinda makes me nervous though, 'cause if everyone puts their plate on the floor at the same time, then I will have a dickens of a time controlling everything. I may just have a panic attack.

This evening will probably bring out the worst in me as mom thinks we should all get to lick the plates. How can she treat her baby like this? My tongue is so small, it takes eons to clean one dish. Spenser's tongue is huge. A few swipes and the gravy will be gone, leaving me no chance at all. Plus, we have an extra brat (Leo) who will be horning in on my good time. So not fair.

Leo Is Just Alright With Me

2005-09-10T13:31:00.000-05:00

Okay - I relent. Leo can have his fun. The "body slam" is kinda fun because he tries to move me and I am immovable. He just bounces off of me, proving that I am way bigger and tougher. Ha!

We've been playing a lot since last night, which makes mom and dad happy. As long as they still realize that I am Alpha Dog, which they do, then all is well. Plus, Leo is still being crated a lot due to his inability to "hold it" in the house. When he is crated I have more opportunities to show him who's boss.

In other news, I've been told that when the weather cools, we will all be taking walks in the evening as a family. Spenser too! Although Spenser will have to be fitted with a special leash which keeps him from pulling. He's such a "special needs" goober. They say we are ALL, including mom and dad, getting soft in the middle. What's wrong with softness? I love burrowing into momma's soft middle. Maybe this phase of theirs won't last long. Here in Texas there are still a lot of hot days left, so perhaps it will soon be forgotten.

Cheers all and have a great weekend!

Depressed

2005-09-08T17:53:00.000-05:00

Mom has noticed a big change in my personality the last few days. As much as possible, I stay on her lap, in my bed or under the sofa. And I make sure I have the saddest looking face possible. The situation with Leo is becoming intolerable. I'm not even mad at him anymore, just hurt that he thinks he can march in here and boss me around with that big bearded *stinky* face.

IF momma IS babying me, it's only because she tries to make me feel better about Leo's bullying tactics. He has turned into quite a rapscallion. Oh, he acted so pitiful at first. I knew it was an act! In addition, his incessant barking has nearly ruptured all of our ear drums. You see, I sensed this type of behavior from the beginning; that's why I was snarling at him when he first got here. He needed to be set straight on who is truly in charge, but momma popped me on the hiney every time I tried. Now she's feeling sorry for me, but that's good because I don't get pops on the butt or scolded for taking up for myself any longer.

In other news, my dad's human brother is still here trying to get his life in order after the horrible storm which the humans named "Katrina". It should have been called something else...a mean name...like Hitler...or something. I don't know, I always thought Katrina was a pretty name. Something destructive like that shouldn't have a pretty name. Anyway, Wayne is looking for jobs around here at the area hospitals and may be with us for a while. That's okay, because Wayne is nice to us, plus, we have someone home most of the day.

Rumors

2005-09-07T15:30:00.000-05:00

My sources have revealed to me that my new *brother* Leo has been issuing complaints about our digs on a public forum of all places! Not only that, he has called me infantile and criticized mom for babying me. I take complete offense to those remarks. I am NOT a baby and mom does NOT coo at me. Those are completely false rumors with nothing to substantiate them. I categorically deny these accusations! And here I was being nice to Leo the last 2 days.

Well, I've got some dirt on him too. He shivers like a wimp during the night and won't get under the covers to warm himself. Not too bright in my opinion. In addition, he has been walking around since yesterday with an unidentifiable object stuck in his butt hair. So, if he wants to get nasty, let's get it on!

Other than my pesky new brother, life is pretty wonderful. Mom and dad are really sweet to me - and not in a cooing, baby sort of way. They make my life so pleasant with an abundance of food, treats, and love. Why, I bet Queen Elizabeth's corgis aren't treated as special as me. Yes, I am better off than royalty in my estimation.

Body Slamming

2005-09-05T15:27:00.000-05:00

Leo has entered a new phase of development starting this morning. There are more facets to his personality than anyone dreamed.

While we were all outside doing our morning eliminations, Leo decided to body slam me, over and over. Mom laughed and said it reminded her of a dance called "the bump". He acted like he was just going to rub his body alongside me, then bam! His hip lurched sideways and he slammed me against the patio wall. I wish mom hadn't laughed. Now he thinks it's a big game. My only option was to run under the lawn table for refuge. Mom felt sorry for me and picked me up.

Mom walked into the house last night and smelled a lot of urine. Boy was she hot! Leo was hastily put in his crate 'cause she knows the rest of us are completely respectful of our abode. I pranced all around right in front of him just to rub it in. He cried and cried, but mom refused to let him out. The ony time he came out was to go outside for a potty break. She found pee on all the rugs in the kitchen and bath and also in the upstairs hall. She was MAD. Ha-ha. Revenge is so sweet. The little rascal is finally getting what he deserves.

Signing Off For The Weekend...

2005-09-02T16:02:00.000-05:00

I am s-l-o-w-l-y beginning to accept Leo. He's gone from a lifeless lump to a bundle of energy, quick! Sometimes he barks right in my face though. Mom really needs to teach him some manners, or I'll do it for her and she won't like my teaching methods. Grrrr. Right now I handle the face barking by running under mom's legs or the nearest piece of furniture. I realize he is just a pup, so I don't want to have to ruff him up!

Thanks Again Dogster

2005-09-02T08:59:00.000-05:00

My diary is "pick of the day" again. Wow. I'm completely humbled and honored. I would like to thank my loving, supportive family and doggie pals, but especially Dogster for making this all possible. My mom and I LOVE Dogster and we love you! More later....

Psychotherapy Anyone?

2005-09-01T14:21:00.000-05:00

Another new member added to the household! When will it ever end? Although, this time, I'm trying to be gracious and understanding. It appears that my daddy's human brother, Wayne, arrived from Bay St. Louis, MS today to escape the conditions from hurricane Katrina. He is a critial care nurse at Hancock Hospital.

Wayne worked for 3 days straight with little food, no working toilets and water up to his waist. I must say I don't understand the need for working toilets, but the humans place a big priority on that. Anyway, I'm told he's here for at least 4 weeks. Four dogs and three humans in one small house is going to be a tad stressful. Warning: he is NOT getting any of my food. Hey, if I play my paws right, he may actually share his food with me. Oh, I like the sound of that.

I was very saddened to hear of all the pet loss across the coast. My little heart was full of grief, knowing how dependant on humans we all are. My mom got really teared up watching the news accounts. We should all join paws, hands and hearts across the country to help those devastated by Katrina. Click here for the Humane Society's Secure Donation Site. Thanks pals!

On Strike

2005-08-30T13:59:00.000-05:00

I wonder if mom and dad have noticed that I've gone on strike? From what, you say? Well, for starters, I'm not gonna be sweet anymore, only mad. AND, I will refuse to eat that cr*p they've been giving me, so they will be forced to offer me Leo's food. This is just for starters. I think my plan is brilliant. I'm still in a very bad mood and I definitely do not like what is taking place at home with this new little whipper-snapper thinking he's *all that*. What nerve.

I Am Not A Happy Camper!

2005-08-29T11:43:00.000-05:00

Did I really say in my diary just a few days ago that I *liked* Leo? I must've been in a jolly mood that day. I take back everything nice I said. He is stealing all of my attention. To add insult to injury, I have been scolded for trying to eat his food, which is much better than mine. Why does he get the great tasting food?

At first, I kinda felt sorry for the little guy and even tried to protect him, but all bets are off now.

Mom and dad have the nerve to call me *grumpy*. Well, wouldn't you be grumpy if some newcomer came along to steal your spotlight? What do they expect? And I'll tell you another thing: he stinks! Especially his beard. Mom even calls him Mr. Stinky Face.

The only thing I have over him is that I still get to sleep with mom and he doesn't. So there! Hopefully, this will all blow over and my life can return to normal. Otherwise, I'm afraid that I may require intensive psychotherapy. Can anyone refer a reputable analyst?

A New Brother

2005-08-26T10:06:00.000-05:00

Has everyone seen my new sibling, Leo (Leonardo)? Click on his picture if you get a minute. Admittedly, he is cute and sweet, but nowhere *near* as cute as me.

I fiercely protected him when he first arrived last weekend 'cause mom said he had a hurt head. I didn't want Spenser and Chance to scare him. They have this obnoxious way of saying hello.

Can you believe I'm not even jealous? Besides, Leo has some really good and different tasting food than the boring fare I have been given day after day. When mom opens his crate door, I have learned to position myself just right so I can grab a few morsels. Mmmm, tasty!

Today is Leo's 5th day in our house and he has gone from being unsteady on his legs to running! It's true! This morning he actually ran.

Mom is going to have to do something about his multiple, daily eliminations though. He goes poo-poo and pee-pee anytime, anywhere. If the mood strikes, he'll go from innocently sitting, to the potty position. Mom and dad don't even fuss about it. They say, "Oh Leo. You're such a potty machine!" If I did that, bet I'd get my butt popped. Maybe it's because he's sick. When he gets well, they'd better make him mind. The rest of us have to.

Other than those minor infractions, I think I'm going to like Leo. He is just my size, he's friendly, he's cute, and most importantly, he has gourmet food which he doesn't mind sharing.

Rock Stars Suck

2005-07-21T12:43:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone. Once again, my mom is derelict in helping me with my diary entries. Sigh! And something else has been going on. She's been watching this Rock Star INXS thing in the big black box for 2 weeks. I'm feeling quite put-out with the whole situation. It seems to me that she loves JD, MiG and Marty more than me. She can't even reach in and pet those people for goodness' sake! Here I am, begging for attention, and she's shushing me and waving me away with her hand. Not only that, she makes it so loud that I have to cover my ears with my paws! I have now turned my attention over to Daddy, who appreciates me so much more. I'm gonna sit snuggly with my daddy while she claps and hoots for people that can't even hear her. Grow up mom, please!

Abandonment Issues and Backyard Adventures

2005-07-06T11:20:00.000-05:00

My mom has been too busy lately to help me write. She really needs to make more time for me, Lord of the Manor. How dare she devote time to other things? Anyway, I'm baaack.

A couple of weeks ago mom and dad drove away and they were gone for a really long time. Mom at least had the foresight to send her human boy, Michael, to stay with us. The first night, I refused to sleep in the bed with him, but by the 2nd night, I relented, as I was starting to feel quite lonely. I missed my mommy, what can I say?

The first night, “Spenser the Idiot” ate two toads. Michael had to call my mom on the phone because “the Idiot” began foaming at the mouth. Fortunately, the toads in our area are not toxic; they just taste really bad. Spenser either doesn't care or is too stupid to care. From that point on, our caretaker was forced to go on toad patrol before every potty break. I keep telling mom that Spenser needs to go live on a farm somewhere. He’s always on the prowl for rabbits, birds, and now TOADS. Yuk!

Finally, mom and dad returned. We ganged up on them and greeted them in that obnoxious way we have. We were so happy to see them that we didn’t let them know how angry we really were for abandoning us. Michael was a pretty good substitute, so it's all good.

Personal Hygiene Issues

2005-06-16T16:18:00.000-05:00

Last night the horrible deed was finally carried out. Mom has been threatening it for weeks. We were forced to endure “The Dreaded Nail Trim”. Only some of us were imposed upon though. One of us managed to escape and I’ll explain that later. First, mom and dad ganged up on me…their poor little orphan. Daddy held on firmly while mom clipped away. I yelped and squirmed with all my might. I WAS FURIOUS. It was of no use; Daddy’s very strong. Afterwards, I was given the obligatory treat, which I busied myself with in an effort to blot out the horrendous incident.

Chance mistakenly thought mom wanted to shake his paw. He loves to give mom paw. She took it in her hand and whipped out the shiny chrome clipper from behind her back. He didn’t realize what was happening at first (he’s a little slow). When he did realize what was happening, he tried to run off, but mom was smart. She brought out treats for Round II. Chance is a sucker for treats. For each nail, he got a piece of a treat. I only got one treat for ALL my nails. How unfair is that?

Spenser let mom clip one nail and he was outta there! He wouldn’t even come to her with the lure of a treat. Spenser has a lot of willpower. Chance and I, not so much. We're treat junkies. Mom lost that battle with Spenser, but I know she'll get him sooner or later.

News Flash

2005-06-10T16:23:00.000-05:00

This morning I overheard several key words between my human parents to cause me great alarm. I gathered that Spenser gets to go to work with mommy at the animal emergency clinic tonight – alone. A grave injustice is about to take place. In all fairness though, Spenser has some sort of growth on his rib cage that gives him the special privilege of a one-on-one with one of the docs. I wish Spenser well and all, but I’m feeling very anxious about the entire situation. Chance is so co-dependant, he is going to flip out when mom puts Spenser in the car and drives away. I will be stuck in my crate forced to endure Chance’s incessant whining until daddy gets home.

In other news, Callie came over to play on Wednesday. It took me a good 30 minutes to warm up to her. Once I did, we played and chased each other around the house for a long time. When she left, I was exhausted. Too pooped to do anything but curl up in mom’s arms and drift into peaceful a sleep. That felt really good.

Adventures in the ER

2005-06-03T14:47:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, after discussing with daddy what to do with me for the evening, mom turned to me and said, "Daddy’s working late tonight…wanna go for a RIDE?" Well, my vocabulary is proficient enough to know what RIDE means. Plus, she hangs on the word RIDE for emphasis. As soon as the word came out of her mouth, I jumped off her lap, twirled around, and wagged my tail fast and furious. That is my way of saying "Yes Ma’am!"

I did not realize she was taking me to the animal ER though. The action I observed there may have scarred me for life. As soon as we got there, it was hit the deck and run mode. Mom hurriedly put down a blanket for me in a cage where I faced all the action; then she shut the door and started running.

The first thing I saw was a Mastiff named Lexie who had been in labor over 24 hours. Prior to her arrival she delivered 6 puppies at home, but still had 3 puppies in her tummy. Lexie is the biggest creature I have ever seen. Several nurses lifted her up on the table and put a mask over her face. It took 4 people to hold her down, but soon she was out cold. Dr. P. then did the unthinkable: she took a sharp blade and cut Lexie’s stomach open. One puppy was quickly lifted out and it was not breathing. They worked and worked to try to breathe life into the pup, but it was too late. Pups 2 and 3 came out healthy with no problems, except they whined a lot and couldn’t open their eyes.

The next thing to come in was a hit by car dog. He was pretty banged up and rushed to the room where they take pictures (which, by the way, look nothing like the pictures mom takes of us). Next, a tiny kitten arrived who had been attacked by a dog from her own family! She also went to the room where they take pictures. Before I knew it, two neurotic-looking Cocker Spaniels strolled in. Their parents handed my mom a chewed up CD in a plastic bag. They also were sent to the picture room. When Dr. F. looked at their pictures, she determined they needed to vomit. Each Cocker received a shot in the derriere, which they both intensely objected to. Soon thereafter, one of the Cockers threw up a lot of CD pieces and the other one vomited up a bunch of paper.

Other cases I saw were: a ripped off nail, diarrhea with blood, kennel cough, dehydration, diabetes, another hit by car dog, a “dead on arrival” dog, a candle that fell on a cat’s leg (more pictures), and 2 euthanasias.

My daddy finally came to pick me up about 9PM. I was never so happy to see my daddy. What a night! I don’t know how mom deals with that place twice a week. Perhaps that is why she's always so happy to see me when she comes home.

Mailbox Meanderings

2005-05-25T11:39:00.000-05:00

Last night, mom was expecting her human child to knock on the front door at any moment. Hearing a knock, she flung the door open, but instead of her boy, two frightened sales people stood in horror. That's because Chance rushed at them in his overzealous manner to greet them with his wet nose. The lady threw her arms up in the air and screamed. Mom yelled Chance’s name and motioned him back inside. The little brown-noser respectfully submitted to her command.

Seeing a perfect opportunity, I slipped out the door as Chance was coming in. The mailboxes had not been marked in quite some time, so I did not want to squander my good fortune. I ran down the street, lifting my leg high on each box. Mom was really mad at me, yelling my name and demanding that I return to her. Couldn't she see I was working the block? When her brisk walk turned into a run, I knew the jig was up, so I emptied myself at the last mailbox and squatted down to let her know I surrendered.

Spenser was the only one who did not go outside and Chance quickly obeyed mom’s command to return to the den. Those two boot-lickers have made me look bad. Now I have been completely exposed as the rebellious one of the pack. No matter, I have made my presence known to every home on our side of the street. The reprimand I received was worth it I suppose. Besides, mom never stays mad at me for long. How could she? My big black eyes turn her into mush every single time.

Communication is Everything

2005-05-24T15:55:00.000-05:00

As any good dog knows, a decent vocabulary is necessary to function properly within the human pack. “Outside”, “ride”, “treat”, “food”, “time to eat”, “toy”, “night-night”, and “good boy” are words which keep me well-informed.

Other cues are vital as well. If the door is opened where my leash sits, then I know we’re going to leave the house and go on an adventure. If the treat jar is opened after I return from performing *unmentionable duties*, then I sit up straight and wait patiently for my goody. If the parents stuff my Kong toy with liver paste, I run like the wind to my crate. Kongs stuffed with treats always mean that mom and dad are going to be gone for a few hours. They think it helps pass my time in the crate, but I have news for them; I can lick out that liver paste in a matter of minutes.

It’s easy to figure the human parents out, but you have to pay close attention. It takes a life of dedication to master it. One must be a keen observer of body language and human utterances. Cadence is important as well. For instance, I know mom is pleased with me when she says in her sing-song voice, “Good boy, Sparky”. The sing-song voice is the best.

That's all the advice I have for now. Toodle-oo all.

Hot as Hades in Texas

2005-05-23T15:51:00.000-05:00

Boy, yesterday was HOT! I did my business and trotted right back to the door. I was very clear in signaling my desire to go back inside. The poor dog next door and my neighbor across the alley have to live outside all the time. They've barked their objections night and day, to no avail.

Our local emergency vet clinic saw three cases of heat stroke in dogs on Saturday. Two had to be euthanized and one died before it even got to the hospital. Don't humans know that if we're not accustomed to extreme heat yet, it can kill you? One lady said her dog had only been outside for 2 hours and it collapsed. I'm glad my mom knows all this stuff and keeps me and my brothers out of danger.

On a happier note, I'm still smelling sweet from my bath, which affords me great cuddle time with mom and dad...until I yawn. For some reason my yawn hangs in the air for a while which makes mom wrinkle her nose. I think it's a wonderful smell. I don't know why she objects to it.

Bathing Adventures

2005-05-20T12:13:00.000-05:00

We were all enjoying our evening in the backyard last night when mom walked outside holding a bottle filled with green, apple-flavored liquid. Innocently, we all ran up to her excitedly, thinking it was a new kind of treat. WRONG!

First, she went to the side yard and turned on the water hose. Next, she tried to coax Spenser over to the hose which by now was spewing and spurting water and making scary noises. He laid down far away from it and refused to come. All the coaxing in the world could not get Spenser near that hose, so mom dragged him by the collar and pointed the end of the hose at him and a huge gush of water drenched him.

Chance and I fled the scene as soon as we realized what was going on. I hid behind a bush and Chance was under the window trying to look inconspicuous.

After a while Spenser calmed down and seemed to enjoy it. Mom poured the apple-smelling stuff all over him and rubbed it in until it was all foamy and white. Out came the volcanic hose to drench him again, but this time, he didn't try to run away. He actually seemed to like it. After it was all over, he ran around and around, shaking his coat and getting everyone in his path wet.

Chance was next and he was not as accepting of the situation as Spenser. Mom achieved her goal, but it was a battle from start to finish. She was completely soaked from head to toe. Her glasses slid right off her face.

Knowing I was next, I tried to hide from the cruelty I knew awaited me; however, mom found me cowering near the tropical plants. She scooped me up and brought me indoors. Ah! I thought I was going to avoid the torture, but it was not to be. She marched upstairs with me in her arms, holding the apple liquid and entered the bathroom. She placed me in that deep abyss she calls her beautiful garden tub and nearly drowned me. And I'm not exaggerating either!

We're all clean as whistles now. Mom and Dad no longer say, "Pew! You stink!" They gush and say how good we smell and how soft our fur is. I guess it was worth it; however, I did hear something this morning about nail trims (yikes!)...will keep you posted.

Happy Birthday Daddy!

2005-05-06T15:16:00.000-05:00

For my super special present to Daddy, I've decided to give him a big pooch smooch - right on the mouth. He can't resist me or my doggie-style kisses. Who can? I am irresistible. Then, I will wag my tail to show him how happy I am that he has lived another year. After that, I will climb up the chair and perch on his shoulder, all the while licking his face and getting his glasses all slimed up. He just loves that.

Mom and Dad casually mentioned that they are going to Outback tonight for a big, juicy steak. They're so nonchalant about it, like it's no big deal. Are they kidding?! This is huge! Mmmmmm...the thought of that filet mignon makes me drool and my tail is wagging so fast I'm almost coming off the ground. I bet if I rub my scent all over them before they leave, they will think of me at the dinner table and bring back a little nibble. I'll do anything to get a bite of that steak.

I sound like an addict, don't I?

Dietary Indiscretions

2005-05-05T11:15:00.000-05:00

This week I've been a little under the weather. Dad thinks it's because I'm getting too much people food. My dietary indiscretions should be my own business. Even though I rule the world, I don't rule the kitchen (how can that be?) so I must rely on begging for any sort of tasty morsels. Barbecue pulled pork has been on the menu the last 2 nights. Yummeeeee! Despite my pleading black eyes, Dad only gave me the tiniest crumb from his English muffin this morning. As soon as my perkiness returns, I'm hoping they'll forget about all this and return to giving me their leftovers. Breakfast, lunch and dinner are the few bright spots in my otherwise long and boring days on earth.

I Was Tortured

2005-04-28T18:25:00.000-05:00

Mom announced the other night that we were going to take "pictures" for the Mother's Day Stroll on Dogster. Out came the camera contraption, a clicking sound, and then a bright light which blinded me for several seconds. Just as I was recovering, Dad clicked again. That camera-thingy is nothing but a torture device. They might as well declare war on us. Spenser and Chance agreed with me for once.

Chance acted like he had rigor mortis when mom tried to make him sit next to her. You can see poor Chance panting in the picture. Spenser twirled around like a tornado for several minutes and totally disobeyed the "sit" command. Mom was getting really flustered. Finally, he plopped on the floor, worn out and dizzy. Mom threw herself over him, put him in a head-lock, and yelled, "Hurry Daddy, take it now!"

Our sister Callie on the other hand, is like a supermodel. She has her sexy pose with the sock in her mouth, her wind-blown look, the Farrah smile, etc. I'm sure her cuteness lets her get away with anything. And she's not afraid of the blinding, torture device either.

I'm so glad the photo session is over. Hopefully, we won't be forced to endure that exercise again until Christmas!

Thanks, Dogster!

2005-04-25T09:15:00.000-05:00

My diary was the Featured Diary of the Day on Saturday. Thank you Dogster. My mom and I were so excited. More new friends and e-mail messages. Can't have enough of those, right? I love to receive nice, happy thoughts from people all over the world. I'm a tough guy on the outside, but inside, I'm all sweet and gushy (according to my peoples).

There's been a new development when mom comes home from work late at night. Spenser and I bark and growl over who gets to be closest to mom on the bed. We argue for about five minutes and finally settle in. Mom is the true alpha of our pack, so we eventually give it up when she fusses at us. This happens every single night. I'm not about to give up the choice spot, under the covers, next to her knees. Spenser takes up half the bed, the big goon. He has another thing coming if he thinks I'm going to let him take over.

Chance has some weird phobia about being on furniture. Mom says he's always been that way. Even if she coaxes, he may jump on the bed for a few seconds on rare occasions, then gets a scared look in his eyes and jumps down. More room for me is how I look at it. His phobia is my gain. Now, if I could only get Spenser to mind me! There's no way I'm going to let that big oaf edge me off the bed. The way I see it, I'm second in command and he has to obey my wishes. I'm going to get him trained if it's the last thing I do! Grrrr.

The Rabbits Have Returned

2005-04-20T16:45:00.000-05:00

Rabbits are back on our turf again! Man, I am chompin' at the bit every five minutes to be let outside. Mom and Dad won't allow us to torture the furry little creatures, the big meanies. Seems like the rabbits should be able to figure out that our yard is not the safest place in the neighborhood to hang out. There are mounds of proof all over the place. If Spenser gets ahold of one, there's going to be hell to pay!

Everyone that's seen my "ear" picture thinks I look tough. Perhaps all the other canines will steer clear now and I can rule the world. I thought I already did, but my gruff exterior may make it a bit easier. People say I'm small, but I see something completely different when I look in the mirror. Why, I'm as big as a Great Dane in my eyes.

Alert Level Raised

2005-04-19T09:29:00.000-05:00

The terror alert level in our house has been raised to Red, effective immediately. Callie will be here in less than 2 weeks instead of 6 weeks as previously planned. I have been duly warned and I'm already thinking of ways to keep my ears protected when she's around. Guess they're just going to be an easy target from here on out. I wish Callie would follow my barking orders as Spenser and Chance do. Confounding!

My mom is all excited that Callie is coming home for good. I think it's because she comes attached with someone she calls her "precious daughter Autumn", whom I also have affection for. I'm sure I will learn to adapt to the changes. If it makes Mom happy, then I'm happy. Besides, I don't think Callie meant to tear a chunk of my ear off. She seemed repentant afterwards and she is a lot of fun other than that one episode. Especially when we chase each other around the house.