Tuesday, August 22, 2006

A New Contraption

Mom is always bringing home something to complicate my life. This time, she came home with a miniature staircase. Confused? I was too at first, but soon enough her hideous intentions were revealed. Keep reading.

Assembly was required which caused mom’s voice to become irritated and use naughty words. Already, I hated this new thing. Nope, I didn’t want anything to do with an object that put mom in a bad mood. Once she was done, she placed it next to the bed and announced that it was for me. Huh? Little did she know that I had already decided to boycott this piece of............work.

Later that night she crawled into bed and waited for me. I looked at her, then looked at those stairs that she positioned next to the bed. She really expected me to climb that rickety thing to get to her. No thanks; I’ll think of some other way to get in. She coaxed and coaxed, patting the steps with her hand. “C’mon Sparky! Don’t look so sad. This will help you get into bed easier.” Well, what happened to her picking me up and placing me in the bed? That’s what I’d like to know. #@*!?&#!.

Before I knew it, she switched off the light. Oh, the cruelty, the injustice. Once my eyes adjusted, I did what any proud dog would do; I lunged at the bed over and over and over. Finally, mom got tired of hearing me thud against the side of the mattress and picked me up. Ah, sweet relief at last.

I hope I have made my point and will not be forced to go through that exercise again! I love my humans and all, but this is ridiculous!

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