Tuesday, December 19, 2006


Hey everybody! It's been a while. Let's see...I'm still waiting for the walking regimen to happen. When the humans start a new year I might have a chance then for a firm, slim bod. Mom says we are just too busy to entertain such ideas at the moment, but starting in 2007, we will work our buns off.

Tonight, mom and dad are having guests over, which means that we will be treated like second class citizens. The guests are not "dog people" whatever that means! Mom will be extra nice to us afterwards and give me more treats than anyone else I bet. Well, a pooch can dream, can't he?

On Christmas Eve we will have mom's kids over. Leo and Callie will be there too! That will make 5 dogs and 6 people. Quite a zoo when we're all together. The great thing about them is that they ALL love dogs - especially us. We get lots of attention and treats. Last party had a few of us canines licking the insides of the wine glasses. Now that was a par-TAY!

Merry Christmas everyone. I love all my pup pals and wish them the best Christmas and New Year!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Plugging Along

Mom has come up with a new nickname for me and dare I say it is not very flattering. In fact, I may require therapy soon to deal with the emotional scars. She calls me Rump Roast. Actually, she says, “Come here my little rump roast with legs.” She tries to disguise her insult in that sing-song voice, but she’s not fooling me. T-Bone is a more masculine reference, which I would be more than happy to respond to. But, rump roast? I have decided that I will not respond to that unless she is referring to a large piece of meat cooking on the stove and is about to give me a big juicy taste.

“Exercise” is another word that keeps cropping up in conversation lately. She calls us both pudgy and claims that a good walk around the neighborhood every day will cure our stoutness. So far, all we’ve done is discuss the matter for several days. I am patiently waiting for her to actually open up the cabinet door which houses my leash. If I knew how to open that door, I would take the leash out and bring it to her myself because it appears that we’re going to be in the talking stages for a good while.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Backyard Invasion

I’ve discovered rabbits! A baby bunny rabbit to be precise. The best part is when you put one in your mouth, it squeals. The worst part is when mom runs towards me yelling at the top of her lungs. Only when I knew she was absolutely serious did I let go; however as soon as bunny hit the ground, Chance got it and he would not let go as quickly. Mom kept after him and he finally opened his mouth only to let Spenser get it! Well, Spenser is such a scaredy-cat; he immediately dropped it on the ground after mom yelled at him.

Mom looked like a maniac in the yard. It was quite comical watching her go round and round trying to save the little creature. Thankfully, bunny was only startled. The tiny critter sustained no injuries during the melee. Mom scooped it up into a plastic container and brought it to our dogless neighbor’s yard a few houses down.

Our backyard has never been so exciting! I can’t wait to go out now, even in this brutal Texas heat. In addition to my job guarding Izzy, I now have the added responsibility of keeping our turf free from invaders. Being the alpha dog is exhausting work, I gotta say!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

A New Contraption

Mom is always bringing home something to complicate my life. This time, she came home with a miniature staircase. Confused? I was too at first, but soon enough her hideous intentions were revealed. Keep reading.

Assembly was required which caused mom’s voice to become irritated and use naughty words. Already, I hated this new thing. Nope, I didn’t want anything to do with an object that put mom in a bad mood. Once she was done, she placed it next to the bed and announced that it was for me. Huh? Little did she know that I had already decided to boycott this piece of............work.

Later that night she crawled into bed and waited for me. I looked at her, then looked at those stairs that she positioned next to the bed. She really expected me to climb that rickety thing to get to her. No thanks; I’ll think of some other way to get in. She coaxed and coaxed, patting the steps with her hand. “C’mon Sparky! Don’t look so sad. This will help you get into bed easier.” Well, what happened to her picking me up and placing me in the bed? That’s what I’d like to know. #@*!?&#!.

Before I knew it, she switched off the light. Oh, the cruelty, the injustice. Once my eyes adjusted, I did what any proud dog would do; I lunged at the bed over and over and over. Finally, mom got tired of hearing me thud against the side of the mattress and picked me up. Ah, sweet relief at last.

I hope I have made my point and will not be forced to go through that exercise again! I love my humans and all, but this is ridiculous!

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Little Pink Presents

Today mom said she had to run an errand. Apparently she went shopping because she returned with several bags. Inside were 2 pink doggie beds and pink doggie toys. When she set the beds down to show daddy, I immediately jumped into the softest one and snuggled in. They laughed at me and said, "Sparky, you're too big for that bed and besides it's pink!" Why do I care what color it is?! So, I guess if it's pink, that means it's for Izzy. Yuck! Girls are icky! At least I rubbed my scent all over the new bed so she will be forced to think of me every time she gets in it. And my body fit perfectly in the space no matter what anyone says.

On to more serious matters. Izzy had to go to the doctor yesterday for an upper respiratory problem and something called Puppy Pyoderma, which is a mild skin infection. She had x-rays taken, as well as a thermometer shoved up her tiny bum. Mom said she screamed. Wish I could have been there for that. Hee hee. Izzy is on antibiotics and benedryl for 10 days. Next Saturday she may finally get her vaccines started. Oh, I hope mom will let me be there for that! I so deserve some gloat time.

Mom still calls me her baby and treats me the same as before; however, I no longer have exclusive time with her. I must share with the poopy girl puppy. I mean that literally by the way. She knows to use the newspaper for tee-tee, but she poops anywhere she feels like it. When mom and dad find her little presents, they only say, "Oh Izzy, your poop is smaller than a tootsie roll!" If I poop in the house I get reprimanded. I'm really surprised her poop is not pink.

My life at the moment is so unfair, but I still love my peeps. In the end, we're all part of a tight-knit pack. My main duty is to advise everyone of their place within the pack. This job can be exhausting at times, but someone has to be in charge.

Friday, August 11, 2006

More Izzy Issues

As I suspected, the new creature is taking up most of mom and dad's time. In order to make them aware of my displeasure, I put on the most pathetic face I can muster. All my efforts at protecting IZZY seem to make not a whit of difference to them. She was even given the best privilege of all: being on mom and dad's bed. Spenser tried to jump up and sniff her, so I lunged at him, showing my teeth. He stayed away too, further solidifying my high rank in the pack.

I understand that a small *ahem* dog like Izzy needs more attention than the rest of us. Mom says when she gets bigger, she will not have to spend as much time with her. I hope that is the case because I am quite put out with the entire situation. I'm a patient fellow, but if things don't go back to normal soon, I may have to start acting out. Maybe a pair of shoes will suddenly be destroyed, or the edge of a rug chewed up. I'm sure I can come up with something.

In other news, it is now a new season of Rock Star. Mom is obsessed once again. I'll be so happy when this TV show is over. My ears hurt. Why do humans have to play music so loud? I guess they're just human beings, being human. So glad that I'm a dog.

Cheers all and have a great weekend!

Monday, August 7, 2006

Operation: Izzy

It's now Day 3 of Operation: Guard Izzy. Quietly, yet firmly, I stand by her doorway day and night. I am taking these duties seriously and do not tolerate anything from my subordinates, Spenser and Chance. Izzy is very frail, and it is imperative that she receive top-notch attention. There is nothing that slips past me. I even take my naps right beside her crate, but never fall into a deep slumber. During my waking hours, I sit patiently, waiting for any infractions from my beastly brothers. When mom and dad finally secure her at night, I am relieved of my tasks for the day so that I may rest up for a new day of grueling guard duty.

This is now my life. I have accepted the tiny creature into our home with as much grace as possible. She is quite beautiful and small. Mom says she is a pooch, but I'm still not convinced of her lineage. Perhaps when she gets bigger, I will be convinced that she is truly a canine. Regardless, I am quite smitten with her, I must admit.

Well, off to bed for me. I see that Dogster will be shutting down for maintenance soon, and I need to get this posted before that happens. Nighty-night all my furry friends.

Saturday, August 5, 2006

The Intruder

The unthinkable finally happened. Mom accepted the new chi baby into our pack last night. I keenly observed that she arrived with a brand new bag of food. As you can imagine, the scent was overpowering. I parked myself by that delicious smelling bag most of the evening until mom moved it into the pantry. What a party pooper!

I have forgiven the lady who brought her to us because she came with food. A multitude of sins can be forgiven when food is somehow involved. If we have to tolerate this new critter, I hope she will share her grub with me.

This incredibly tiny creature has its own bedroom. I am beginning to worry that she will eventually take over our entire domicile. I fear a full scale invasion, but I am reserving judgment until I get to know her more. You know what they say: "keep your friends close and your enemies closer".

In the meantime, I have appointed myself Izzy's guardian. Every time Spenser and Chance go near her, I show my teeth and growl. Mom calls me "guard dog extraordinaire" whatever that means. I have drawn an invisible barrier around Izzy and I have dared anyone (except mom and dad) to cross it. I am pack leader after all, and it is my duty to preserve and protect the young and weak in our midst.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Dogster Rocks!

Well, I must say I am so honored to be a Dogster Daily Diary pick! Thanks y'all! I try to keep our doggie pals updated as much as possible, with mom's help, of course. This is a wonderful forum for anyone even slightly obsessed with their dogs.

There have been rumors and grumbling amongst the pack that mom is considering bringing another chi into our midst. A poopy girl puppy at that! Well, I'm mama's baby, and always will be. Just so we're all clear on this matter, okay? We just got rid of Leo too! What can she be thinking? Well, my status as leader of this group will remain unchanged. I intend to make that known right away.

I will keep you all posted on this dreadful situation. Please keep me in your doggie prayers.

Sniffs & wags,

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Web Site Updates

My mom's friend has a new web site for her dog training business. It's Four Paws Training School. If you live in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, and you find yourself in need of training services, I would highly recommend calling her. Mickey has been training dogs since 1974.

Not much is going on in Texas right now except for this scorching hot weather. We try to stay inside as much as possible to avoid the feeling of entering intense flames. Step outside here and you'll get a glimpse of Hades real quick. It ain't pretty!

Friday, June 23, 2006


My annoying brother Leo has been given to mom's son and daughter-in-love who are now called "the newlyweds". Hannah has been asking to take Leo from day 1 and mom finally broke down. After much discussion, a wedding, and lectures, mom has decided that the newlyweds can keep him at their place. Mom says she will keep a close eye on things and if any problems arise, she will snatch him back.

It's been weird the last 3 days. I'm used to having his butt in my face all the time, or his big stinky face, which was the most aggravating thing you could possibly imagine. I no longer hide under furniture, pout, or growl unceasingly. The best part is that I have mom all to myself. At least until Chance and Spenser try to horn in. When they do that, I lay down the law real quick!

Hannah says Leo looks sad now. Of course he is! He doesn't have me to annoy any longer! Mom has a long face too, but in no time she will be giving me her undivided attention and start enjoying the peace and quiet around here.

Eventually, I think Leo will be happier in a home where he is the center of attention. Mom doesn't really want to admit that he was too much for her to handle. She's stubborn like that.

I'm perfectly content with the new equation: 3 canines and 2 utterly devoted humans. Actually, what would be perfect is to have 2 canines and 2 humans, but I don't want to push my luck. Although if one of us had to hit the road, it should be Spenser with his humping, burping, and other unmentionable noises. Mom won't hear of it though. She's the only one who can tolerate him. She says no one else would put up with all his "issues".

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Another Update

I was remiss in giving an update on the Chihuahua race situation when I wrote last. Mom finally came to her senses and decided not to register me. Boy, was I relieved. She didn't want to cause me any anxiety or put me in a situation where I could get heat stroke. The temperatures in Dallas are too extreme for this pampered pooch.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006


Mom and dad had to go to something called a "wedding" for Michael and Hannah last weekend. Apparently, humans have a big ceremony where they exchange rings and profess dying devotion to one another. Dogs just sniff, lick and maybe bite if we're particularly excited. Humans are so complicated. We were left in the care of mom's friend from the clinic, Jennifer and Jennifer's brother Kevin.

It was quite a wild party from what mom says. There was too much of a drink called "alcohol" which made some of the young men start a fight. Plus, it lasted until 3 in the morning. Mom says nothing good happens at that hour when alcohol is involved. I'm glad mom only supplies us with water.

In any case, they've returned to us, tired, but happy to be home. Now I can be lavished with the proper attention I am so used to. It's not that Miss Jennifer & Kevin didn't give me enough attention, but let's face it, there's no one like mom. Actually, Miss Jennifer is sort of a hero because she took Leo out of our hair for the whole weekend to stay at her place. Us big boys didn't have to hear him whimper and whine all day. For that, I will be eternally grateful to her.

Mom says there will be no more big events for the year if she can help it. Three kids getting married and a trip to Italy in the first half of the year are enough for her! And me!

Monday, May 22, 2006

Grazie Mille, They're Back!

Notice I'm even learning a little Italian here? Every chance she gets, mom uses little Italian phrases on us. I'm even called Little Bambino sometimes. Can you believe they didn't even bring home treats for us? I was a little put out, seeing that they bought all the human children, family, friends and co-workers presents, but not one souvenir for their faithful pack. Grrrr.

Enough of this Italy stuff. Movin' on people!

Mom came home from work late, late Sat. night (well, really 2am Sun.) and announced that I will be in a chihuahua race in 2 weeks. Due to my over-indulgence of human leftovers, in addition to my own carefully selected diet, I am not in any shape to be in a race. Not to mention the fact that I am accustomed to being outside for a scant few minutes at a time. Is she kidding?? I must find a way to dodge this bullet. Perhaps I can feign an injury of some sort. I will gimp around the day before and hope she sees that there is no way I can compete. Does she really want to embarrass us both by letting me waddle in a public arena? Well, I refuse to be put on display in this manner, and I will do whatever it takes to avoid being a spectacle for the amusement of others.

There is always something I'm having to deal with around here. Why can't I just live my life in peace, quiet, and harmony without all these expectations?

Monday, April 3, 2006

Ciao, Ti Amo

Translated: Hello, I love you. Wonder how that Doors song would have sounded in Italian? Not good probably. One good thing about mom and dad's trip is that Michael and Hannah will stay at our house so we don't have to be boarded. YAY! We'll all be together, just as normal.

Yesterday was our dreadful bath day. Spenser was first and he did not appreciate the cold water from the hose one bit. Mom had to pull him like a mule, then he would escape, and she would drag him over to the hose again. Round and round they went. Her glasses kept slipping off her face and falling in the soapy water. She ended up wetter than the dogs. I observed the entire spectacle from under a lawn chair, hoping not to be noticed.

Next was Chance and since he had already seen the wrong done to Spenser, he caused mom a lot of grief too by running away, shaking his soapy fur, and getting rounded up over and over.

I thought I was gonna get out of it when mom came in the house with the bottle of shampoo in her hands, but alas, she had other ideas. Apparently, the garden hose is not good enough for me, so thankfully, I was given the luxury of a proper bath in the human's tub.

After our fur dried, we were each subjected to brushing. Chance loves this part. His fur is the most beautiful and he welcomes any opportunity to show it off.

Leo was exempt from the entire ordeal. How fair is that??? Mom says his fur requires maintenance by a professional, so he will be going soon to someone called "groomer". I'd rather have mom bathe me than groomer.

Once all was calm again, I nestled into mom's lap for the rest of the evening. While the process of bathing and brushing seems barbaric, I love how clean I feel afterwards. And so does mom.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Where's Italy?

Lately, mom and dad have been talking about a trip they're taking to a place called Italy. I hope it's not too far away from me, or even better that they're going to take me with them! However, based on my limited language skills, I'm pretty sure I'm not going. In fact, I do remember them mentioning that Leo and I would get to stay with Michael and Hannah.

Wonder where Spenser the goob and Chance are going to stay? If Chance has to board at the emergency clinic again, I hope he doesn't freak out like he did the last time. By the time mom and dad picked him up, he had stopped eating and was bleeding from his booty due to excessive diarrhea.

Wouldn't you know I did not get 9 treats for my birthday yesterday? Mom sang this stupid happy birthday song 9 times though. What's up with that? I tried to act like it didn't bother me by playing with my stretchy toy most of the night. I think I may have taken my anger out on Spenser, because I snarled at him everytime he went towards his favorite bone. Mom fussed at me each time too. Birthdays, apparently, do not give you the liberty to do whatever you please. Grrrr.

Thursday, February 9, 2006

Happy Birthday To Me!

Today is not my actual birthday, but it's the date mom chose for me because it's the day she rescued me 3 years ago. No one really knows the exact date I was born, which is kinda sad, but it's all about how my life ended up that counts, right?

February 9, 2003 is the day I began my new life. God must have been watching over me that day. How I did not end up getting hit by a car or mauled by a large animal is a miracle. Here I was, a little 6 lb. toot, wandering around a busy intersection. On top of that I had mange, among other ailments.

Mom, Dad and I wish only good things for the kind souls who removed me from that dangerous situation and brought me to the animal clinic. That's where I locked eyes with my mom and we've become inseparable ever since.

I wish I could tell everyone about my life before, but since that's not possible, we'll simply accept our good fortune at having each other. The past is not really relevant at this point.

Yes, February 9th is a great day in my book. I think I should receive at least 9 treats to mark the occasion. Doesn't that sound reasonable?

Tuesday, February 7, 2006

Obsessive Mothering - Help!

My heart condition is causing my mom a LOT of anxiety. She apparently had a golden retriever who died suddenly from the same type of murmur. So, because of Frasier, mom has seen fit to ruin my sleep cycles. She pokes and prods me at different intervals all during the night to make sure I'm still alive. It's very frustrating. I wish she would stop and even SHE wishes she could stop.

Last night, for instance, I fell into such a deep state of slumber that I began to snore. According to mom, I was drawing in long breaths and making a strange sound as I drew in air, as though it took great effort. This alarmed her and she reacted by jarring me awake violently. "Sparky, Sparky. Are you okay?" Even after I woke up she wasn't satisfied until I came completely out of it. She kept nagging me until my breathing became normal and my eyes focused. She kept feeling around my chest too. I guess she was looking for a heartbeat. "You scared me Sparky" she whispered into my ear when she was satisfied that I wasn't dying. Needless to say, I was never able to achieve that peaceful state again.

I'll never understand my mom, but she does so many nice things for me. I suppose I can overlook her obsessive-compulsive tendencies; at least for now.

Monday, January 30, 2006


I must say, having all of these dogs living in the house creates a nervous environment for me. At times, it's difficult to control all the others, plus make sure I get my fair share of crumbs the humans leave behind. My latest requirement is that I be left alone to perform my duties in the yard. Chance, Spenser and Leo are a distraction, rendering me unable to concentrate on the task at hand. At my age, regular eliminations are extremely important.

Last night, dad let me out in the backyard to relieve myself - which I did; but I also discovered a gap in the fence just large enough for me to squeeze through - which I also did, unbeknownst to dad.

This unexpected escape was thrilling, yet frightening all at once. Standing just outside the tall wood planks, alone in the dark, without my posse, caused me to suddenly rethink my impulsiveness. It never occurred to me to go back where I came from, so I started wandering, looking for familiar things or humans.

Suddenly, I heard dad calling me by all my names with a strong sense of urgency: Sparky! Spark Plug! As he went on, I realized that perhaps I needed to remain close to our dwelling, so I went around to the front of the house and noticed the front door. I remembered this tall object from our walks. There I parked myself until daddy came for me. Boy, was I relieved to see him and vice versa!

Dad had not told mom that any of this was going on. He said she would have freaked out. Dad was sorta freaking out himself, and he is not usually one to fall apart.

As soon as the human parents finished showering me with pets and kisses, I climbed into my bed, snuggled in, and attempted to erase the whole incident from my memory. A good night's sleep was just the ticket.

My adventurous years are obviously behind me. Besides, dad has ensured that I will never be tempted to do that again by blocking the escape route with a brick.

Friday, January 13, 2006

A Giant THANK YOU Howl to Dogster!

My diary is one of the Daily Picks again. How wonderful to be chosen by the fabulous staff of Dogster. This truly is a great site for dog lovers. My mom and I have enjoyed every second being on here. If you post a problem or question in Forums, there are a multitude of kind souls to respond and offer advice. Leo had an illness a few weeks ago and there were so many dogs and their moms who were truly concerned. My love to all of you.

Thank you again, Dogster.

Sniffs and wags,

Wednesday, January 4, 2006

Where Can I File Inhumane Treatment Charges?

Night before last was so much fun. We were all taken on a long walk around the neighborhood. My smelling receptors were in high gear and my bladder seemed to produce just the right amount of liquid for each blade of grass or mailbox my heart desired. I was in true bliss.

Last night, however, Chance and I were subjected to a ghastly experiment which went horribly wrong. Mom brought some sort of contraption home that allowed her to tether Chance and I together while she held onto one leash. She said we were causing too much trouble on separate leads.

This new "strangler", as I like to call it, was torturous and provided no fun at all for me. Chance is at least 2 stories taller than I, which meant that every time I wanted to veer off to sniff something, Chance just jerked me along to wherever HE wanted to go. It was so unfair. Many times, I had to hobble off on 3 legs before I could even get a drop of pee out! I can't tell you how utterly embarrassing it was to be dragged along by the inferior one of the pack. I'm supposed to be in charge. Now everyone in the neighborhood thinks that Chance is in charge.

Spenser had his problems too. He was forced to wear a collar that went over his nose. Ha-ha! I wasn't the only humiliated pooch of the pack! Dad was basically leading him around by the nose to keep him from pulling. It would have been more amusing if I wasn't dealing with my own crisis, and my mom had refrained from laughing at me the entire time.

I swear! The humans are constantly thinking up new ways to torture us. I give so much love, loyalty and devotion to them too! When the humans first informed us that we would go on evening walks, I was so excited. I did hear mom tell dad this morning that she was going to exchange the current death trap strangler for a larger one. Please, God, have mercy on me.