I must say, having all of these dogs living in the house creates a nervous environment for me. At times, it's difficult to control all the others, plus make sure I get my fair share of crumbs the humans leave behind. My latest requirement is that I be left alone to perform my duties in the yard. Chance, Spenser and Leo are a distraction, rendering me unable to concentrate on the task at hand. At my age, regular eliminations are extremely important.
Last night, dad let me out in the backyard to relieve myself - which I did; but I also discovered a gap in the fence just large enough for me to squeeze through - which I also did, unbeknownst to dad.
This unexpected escape was thrilling, yet frightening all at once. Standing just outside the tall wood planks, alone in the dark, without my posse, caused me to suddenly rethink my impulsiveness. It never occurred to me to go back where I came from, so I started wandering, looking for familiar things or humans.
Suddenly, I heard dad calling me by all my names with a strong sense of urgency: Sparky! Spark Plug! As he went on, I realized that perhaps I needed to remain close to our dwelling, so I went around to the front of the house and noticed the front door. I remembered this tall object from our walks. There I parked myself until daddy came for me. Boy, was I relieved to see him and vice versa!
Dad had not told mom that any of this was going on. He said she would have freaked out. Dad was sorta freaking out himself, and he is not usually one to fall apart.
As soon as the human parents finished showering me with pets and kisses, I climbed into my bed, snuggled in, and attempted to erase the whole incident from my memory. A good night's sleep was just the ticket.
My adventurous years are obviously behind me. Besides, dad has ensured that I will never be tempted to do that again by blocking the escape route with a brick.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Friday, January 13, 2006
A Giant THANK YOU Howl to Dogster!
My diary is one of the Daily Picks again. How wonderful to be chosen by the fabulous staff of Dogster. This truly is a great site for dog lovers. My mom and I have enjoyed every second being on here. If you post a problem or question in Forums, there are a multitude of kind souls to respond and offer advice. Leo had an illness a few weeks ago and there were so many dogs and their moms who were truly concerned. My love to all of you.
Thank you again, Dogster.
Sniffs and wags,
Sparky
Thank you again, Dogster.
Sniffs and wags,
Sparky
Wednesday, January 4, 2006
Where Can I File Inhumane Treatment Charges?
Night before last was so much fun. We were all taken on a long walk around the neighborhood. My smelling receptors were in high gear and my bladder seemed to produce just the right amount of liquid for each blade of grass or mailbox my heart desired. I was in true bliss.
Last night, however, Chance and I were subjected to a ghastly experiment which went horribly wrong. Mom brought some sort of contraption home that allowed her to tether Chance and I together while she held onto one leash. She said we were causing too much trouble on separate leads.
This new "strangler", as I like to call it, was torturous and provided no fun at all for me. Chance is at least 2 stories taller than I, which meant that every time I wanted to veer off to sniff something, Chance just jerked me along to wherever HE wanted to go. It was so unfair. Many times, I had to hobble off on 3 legs before I could even get a drop of pee out! I can't tell you how utterly embarrassing it was to be dragged along by the inferior one of the pack. I'm supposed to be in charge. Now everyone in the neighborhood thinks that Chance is in charge.
Spenser had his problems too. He was forced to wear a collar that went over his nose. Ha-ha! I wasn't the only humiliated pooch of the pack! Dad was basically leading him around by the nose to keep him from pulling. It would have been more amusing if I wasn't dealing with my own crisis, and my mom had refrained from laughing at me the entire time.
I swear! The humans are constantly thinking up new ways to torture us. I give so much love, loyalty and devotion to them too! When the humans first informed us that we would go on evening walks, I was so excited. I did hear mom tell dad this morning that she was going to exchange the current death trap strangler for a larger one. Please, God, have mercy on me.
Last night, however, Chance and I were subjected to a ghastly experiment which went horribly wrong. Mom brought some sort of contraption home that allowed her to tether Chance and I together while she held onto one leash. She said we were causing too much trouble on separate leads.
This new "strangler", as I like to call it, was torturous and provided no fun at all for me. Chance is at least 2 stories taller than I, which meant that every time I wanted to veer off to sniff something, Chance just jerked me along to wherever HE wanted to go. It was so unfair. Many times, I had to hobble off on 3 legs before I could even get a drop of pee out! I can't tell you how utterly embarrassing it was to be dragged along by the inferior one of the pack. I'm supposed to be in charge. Now everyone in the neighborhood thinks that Chance is in charge.
Spenser had his problems too. He was forced to wear a collar that went over his nose. Ha-ha! I wasn't the only humiliated pooch of the pack! Dad was basically leading him around by the nose to keep him from pulling. It would have been more amusing if I wasn't dealing with my own crisis, and my mom had refrained from laughing at me the entire time.
I swear! The humans are constantly thinking up new ways to torture us. I give so much love, loyalty and devotion to them too! When the humans first informed us that we would go on evening walks, I was so excited. I did hear mom tell dad this morning that she was going to exchange the current death trap strangler for a larger one. Please, God, have mercy on me.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Warning: Oklahoma Has Vicious Ticks
Mom and dad took me with them to Turner Falls for a 4 day weekend getaway. My snuggly bed was placed between their seats in the car, so all I had to do was sit there like a king on a throne. I play that part very well.
Turner Falls is stunningly beautiful. Chickasaw National Recreation Area in Sulphur was even prettier. During our hikes we saw water falls, gold, red and green trees, springs, caves and even a castle. Where there was running water, dad would let me drink. It was so fresh; so much better than the yucky water in our bowl at home. Dad carried me a lot 'cause mom was afraid my heart would give out. She just won't forget about that stupid heart murmur.
Everything was going really well until we returned home. After getting our obnoxious greetings from Spenser and Chance, dad noticed I had a big red splotch on my inside back leg. Both mom and dad began inspecting me, which I detest, by the way. Dad noticed a black spot in the center of it and when he tried to pull on it, I yelped and started to bite. I didn't mean to bite, but it hurt so bad.
Mom scooped me up and drove to the emergency room. Lucky for me, mom knows everyone in there. All sorts of emergencies were going on and here is mom, acting like I'm dying or something. It was sooooo embarrassing.
Mom's friend took one look and said, "Yep, looks like a tick. Sparky, did you bring a visitor back with you?" As if I would purposely bring something as detestable as a blood-sucking creature back with me.
She put a muzzle on me and the nice nurse with the sense of humor pulled out the offensive little devil with a pair of hemostats.
As if all that wasn't stressful enough, mom gave me a really long bath when we got home. She said she was checking for more evil critters.
I'll be so glad when it heals up because I'm sick of being inspected. Did I tell you that I really hate that?
I do hope the next time we travel, I will have some say in where we go.
Turner Falls is stunningly beautiful. Chickasaw National Recreation Area in Sulphur was even prettier. During our hikes we saw water falls, gold, red and green trees, springs, caves and even a castle. Where there was running water, dad would let me drink. It was so fresh; so much better than the yucky water in our bowl at home. Dad carried me a lot 'cause mom was afraid my heart would give out. She just won't forget about that stupid heart murmur.
Everything was going really well until we returned home. After getting our obnoxious greetings from Spenser and Chance, dad noticed I had a big red splotch on my inside back leg. Both mom and dad began inspecting me, which I detest, by the way. Dad noticed a black spot in the center of it and when he tried to pull on it, I yelped and started to bite. I didn't mean to bite, but it hurt so bad.
Mom scooped me up and drove to the emergency room. Lucky for me, mom knows everyone in there. All sorts of emergencies were going on and here is mom, acting like I'm dying or something. It was sooooo embarrassing.
Mom's friend took one look and said, "Yep, looks like a tick. Sparky, did you bring a visitor back with you?" As if I would purposely bring something as detestable as a blood-sucking creature back with me.
She put a muzzle on me and the nice nurse with the sense of humor pulled out the offensive little devil with a pair of hemostats.
As if all that wasn't stressful enough, mom gave me a really long bath when we got home. She said she was checking for more evil critters.
I'll be so glad when it heals up because I'm sick of being inspected. Did I tell you that I really hate that?
I do hope the next time we travel, I will have some say in where we go.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Something's Missing
Earlier this week mom took Leo for a ride in the car. My pride was severely wounded when she took him instead of me for the coveted car ride.
When he returned the next day we sniffed him out and realized that he had come back with some - ahem - "parts" missing. The funny thing is, he didn't seem to mind too much. He is now an official member of our pack as we all have an equal number of body parts now. Leo plays rough and tough as though nothing happened at all. Well, he didn't really have a need for them anyway, so it's all good.
Signing off for the weekend.... Hugs, sniffs & licks to all my good buddies.
The Sparkman
When he returned the next day we sniffed him out and realized that he had come back with some - ahem - "parts" missing. The funny thing is, he didn't seem to mind too much. He is now an official member of our pack as we all have an equal number of body parts now. Leo plays rough and tough as though nothing happened at all. Well, he didn't really have a need for them anyway, so it's all good.
Signing off for the weekend.... Hugs, sniffs & licks to all my good buddies.
The Sparkman
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
The Big Finale
Tonight is the finale for Rock Star: INXS. Finally! Maybe mom can return to normal after tonight.
The kids have been invited over for the (cough) *event*. A delicious round steak and gravy dinner is planned - Louisiana style. She hasn't cooked since Labor Day, so I am really looking forward to all the plates I am going to get to lick. It kinda makes me nervous though, 'cause if everyone puts their plate on the floor at the same time, then I will have a dickens of a time controlling everything. I may just have a panic attack.
This evening will probably bring out the worst in me as mom thinks we should all get to lick the plates. How can she treat her baby like this? My tongue is so small, it takes eons to clean one dish. Spenser's tongue is huge. A few swipes and the gravy will be gone, leaving me no chance at all. Plus, we have an extra brat (Leo) who will be horning in on my good time. So not fair.
The kids have been invited over for the (cough) *event*. A delicious round steak and gravy dinner is planned - Louisiana style. She hasn't cooked since Labor Day, so I am really looking forward to all the plates I am going to get to lick. It kinda makes me nervous though, 'cause if everyone puts their plate on the floor at the same time, then I will have a dickens of a time controlling everything. I may just have a panic attack.
This evening will probably bring out the worst in me as mom thinks we should all get to lick the plates. How can she treat her baby like this? My tongue is so small, it takes eons to clean one dish. Spenser's tongue is huge. A few swipes and the gravy will be gone, leaving me no chance at all. Plus, we have an extra brat (Leo) who will be horning in on my good time. So not fair.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
Leo Is Just Alright With Me
Okay - I relent. Leo can have his fun. The "body slam" is kinda fun because he tries to move me and I am immovable. He just bounces off of me, proving that I am way bigger and tougher. Ha!
We've been playing a lot since last night, which makes mom and dad happy. As long as they still realize that I am Alpha Dog, which they do, then all is well. Plus, Leo is still being crated a lot due to his inability to "hold it" in the house. When he is crated I have more opportunities to show him who's boss.
In other news, I've been told that when the weather cools, we will all be taking walks in the evening as a family. Spenser too! Although Spenser will have to be fitted with a special leash which keeps him from pulling. He's such a "special needs" goober. They say we are ALL, including mom and dad, getting soft in the middle. What's wrong with softness? I love burrowing into momma's soft middle. Maybe this phase of theirs won't last long. Here in Texas there are still a lot of hot days left, so perhaps it will soon be forgotten.
Cheers all and have a great weekend!
We've been playing a lot since last night, which makes mom and dad happy. As long as they still realize that I am Alpha Dog, which they do, then all is well. Plus, Leo is still being crated a lot due to his inability to "hold it" in the house. When he is crated I have more opportunities to show him who's boss.
In other news, I've been told that when the weather cools, we will all be taking walks in the evening as a family. Spenser too! Although Spenser will have to be fitted with a special leash which keeps him from pulling. He's such a "special needs" goober. They say we are ALL, including mom and dad, getting soft in the middle. What's wrong with softness? I love burrowing into momma's soft middle. Maybe this phase of theirs won't last long. Here in Texas there are still a lot of hot days left, so perhaps it will soon be forgotten.
Cheers all and have a great weekend!
Thursday, September 8, 2005
Depressed
Mom has noticed a big change in my personality the last few days. As much as possible, I stay on her lap, in my bed or under the sofa. And I make sure I have the saddest looking face possible. The situation with Leo is becoming intolerable. I'm not even mad at him anymore, just hurt that he thinks he can march in here and boss me around with that big bearded *stinky* face.
IF momma IS babying me, it's only because she tries to make me feel better about Leo's bullying tactics. He has turned into quite a rapscallion. Oh, he acted so pitiful at first. I knew it was an act! In addition, his incessant barking has nearly ruptured all of our ear drums. You see, I sensed this type of behavior from the beginning; that's why I was snarling at him when he first got here. He needed to be set straight on who is truly in charge, but momma popped me on the hiney every time I tried. Now she's feeling sorry for me, but that's good because I don't get pops on the butt or scolded for taking up for myself any longer.
In other news, my dad's human brother is still here trying to get his life in order after the horrible storm which the humans named "Katrina". It should have been called something else...a mean name...like Hitler...or something. I don't know, I always thought Katrina was a pretty name. Something destructive like that shouldn't have a pretty name. Anyway, Wayne is looking for jobs around here at the area hospitals and may be with us for a while. That's okay, because Wayne is nice to us, plus, we have someone home most of the day.
IF momma IS babying me, it's only because she tries to make me feel better about Leo's bullying tactics. He has turned into quite a rapscallion. Oh, he acted so pitiful at first. I knew it was an act! In addition, his incessant barking has nearly ruptured all of our ear drums. You see, I sensed this type of behavior from the beginning; that's why I was snarling at him when he first got here. He needed to be set straight on who is truly in charge, but momma popped me on the hiney every time I tried. Now she's feeling sorry for me, but that's good because I don't get pops on the butt or scolded for taking up for myself any longer.
In other news, my dad's human brother is still here trying to get his life in order after the horrible storm which the humans named "Katrina". It should have been called something else...a mean name...like Hitler...or something. I don't know, I always thought Katrina was a pretty name. Something destructive like that shouldn't have a pretty name. Anyway, Wayne is looking for jobs around here at the area hospitals and may be with us for a while. That's okay, because Wayne is nice to us, plus, we have someone home most of the day.
Wednesday, September 7, 2005
Rumors
My sources have revealed to me that my new *brother* Leo has been issuing complaints about our digs on a public forum of all places! Not only that, he has called me infantile and criticized mom for babying me. I take complete offense to those remarks. I am NOT a baby and mom does NOT coo at me. Those are completely false rumors with nothing to substantiate them. I categorically deny these accusations! And here I was being nice to Leo the last 2 days.
Well, I've got some dirt on him too. He shivers like a wimp during the night and won't get under the covers to warm himself. Not too bright in my opinion. In addition, he has been walking around since yesterday with an unidentifiable object stuck in his butt hair. So, if he wants to get nasty, let's get it on!
Other than my pesky new brother, life is pretty wonderful. Mom and dad are really sweet to me - and not in a cooing, baby sort of way. They make my life so pleasant with an abundance of food, treats, and love. Why, I bet Queen Elizabeth's corgis aren't treated as special as me. Yes, I am better off than royalty in my estimation.
Well, I've got some dirt on him too. He shivers like a wimp during the night and won't get under the covers to warm himself. Not too bright in my opinion. In addition, he has been walking around since yesterday with an unidentifiable object stuck in his butt hair. So, if he wants to get nasty, let's get it on!
Other than my pesky new brother, life is pretty wonderful. Mom and dad are really sweet to me - and not in a cooing, baby sort of way. They make my life so pleasant with an abundance of food, treats, and love. Why, I bet Queen Elizabeth's corgis aren't treated as special as me. Yes, I am better off than royalty in my estimation.
Monday, September 5, 2005
Body Slamming
Leo has entered a new phase of development starting this morning. There are more facets to his personality than anyone dreamed.
While we were all outside doing our morning eliminations, Leo decided to body slam me, over and over. Mom laughed and said it reminded her of a dance called "the bump". He acted like he was just going to rub his body alongside me, then bam! His hip lurched sideways and he slammed me against the patio wall. I wish mom hadn't laughed. Now he thinks it's a big game. My only option was to run under the lawn table for refuge. Mom felt sorry for me and picked me up.
Mom walked into the house last night and smelled a lot of urine. Boy was she hot! Leo was hastily put in his crate 'cause she knows the rest of us are completely respectful of our abode. I pranced all around right in front of him just to rub it in. He cried and cried, but mom refused to let him out. The ony time he came out was to go outside for a potty break. She found pee on all the rugs in the kitchen and bath and also in the upstairs hall. She was MAD. Ha-ha. Revenge is so sweet. The little rascal is finally getting what he deserves.
While we were all outside doing our morning eliminations, Leo decided to body slam me, over and over. Mom laughed and said it reminded her of a dance called "the bump". He acted like he was just going to rub his body alongside me, then bam! His hip lurched sideways and he slammed me against the patio wall. I wish mom hadn't laughed. Now he thinks it's a big game. My only option was to run under the lawn table for refuge. Mom felt sorry for me and picked me up.
Mom walked into the house last night and smelled a lot of urine. Boy was she hot! Leo was hastily put in his crate 'cause she knows the rest of us are completely respectful of our abode. I pranced all around right in front of him just to rub it in. He cried and cried, but mom refused to let him out. The ony time he came out was to go outside for a potty break. She found pee on all the rugs in the kitchen and bath and also in the upstairs hall. She was MAD. Ha-ha. Revenge is so sweet. The little rascal is finally getting what he deserves.
Friday, September 2, 2005
Signing Off For The Weekend...
I am s-l-o-w-l-y beginning to accept Leo. He's gone from a lifeless lump to a bundle of energy, quick! Sometimes he barks right in my face though. Mom really needs to teach him some manners, or I'll do it for her and she won't like my teaching methods. Grrrr. Right now I handle the face barking by running under mom's legs or the nearest piece of furniture. I realize he is just a pup, so I don't want to have to ruff him up!
Thanks Again Dogster
My diary is "pick of the day" again. Wow. I'm completely humbled and honored. I would like to thank my loving, supportive family and doggie pals, but especially Dogster for making this all possible. My mom and I LOVE Dogster and we love you! More later....
Thursday, September 1, 2005
Psychotherapy Anyone?
Another new member added to the household! When will it ever end? Although, this time, I'm trying to be gracious and understanding. It appears that my daddy's human brother, Wayne, arrived from Bay St. Louis, MS today to escape the conditions from hurricane Katrina. He is a critial care nurse at Hancock Hospital.
Wayne worked for 3 days straight with little food, no working toilets and water up to his waist. I must say I don't understand the need for working toilets, but the humans place a big priority on that. Anyway, I'm told he's here for at least 4 weeks. Four dogs and three humans in one small house is going to be a tad stressful. Warning: he is NOT getting any of my food. Hey, if I play my paws right, he may actually share his food with me. Oh, I like the sound of that.
I was very saddened to hear of all the pet loss across the coast. My little heart was full of grief, knowing how dependant on humans we all are. My mom got really teared up watching the news accounts. We should all join paws, hands and hearts across the country to help those devastated by Katrina. Click here for the Humane Society's Secure Donation Site. Thanks pals!
Wayne worked for 3 days straight with little food, no working toilets and water up to his waist. I must say I don't understand the need for working toilets, but the humans place a big priority on that. Anyway, I'm told he's here for at least 4 weeks. Four dogs and three humans in one small house is going to be a tad stressful. Warning: he is NOT getting any of my food. Hey, if I play my paws right, he may actually share his food with me. Oh, I like the sound of that.
I was very saddened to hear of all the pet loss across the coast. My little heart was full of grief, knowing how dependant on humans we all are. My mom got really teared up watching the news accounts. We should all join paws, hands and hearts across the country to help those devastated by Katrina. Click here for the Humane Society's Secure Donation Site. Thanks pals!
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
On Strike
I wonder if mom and dad have noticed that I've gone on strike? From what, you say? Well, for starters, I'm not gonna be sweet anymore, only mad. AND, I will refuse to eat that cr*p they've been giving me, so they will be forced to offer me Leo's food. This is just for starters. I think my plan is brilliant. I'm still in a very bad mood and I definitely do not like what is taking place at home with this new little whipper-snapper thinking he's *all that*. What nerve.
Monday, August 29, 2005
I Am Not A Happy Camper!
Did I really say in my diary just a few days ago that I *liked* Leo? I must've been in a jolly mood that day. I take back everything nice I said. He is stealing all of my attention. To add insult to injury, I have been scolded for trying to eat his food, which is much better than mine. Why does he get the great tasting food?
At first, I kinda felt sorry for the little guy and even tried to protect him, but all bets are off now.
Mom and dad have the nerve to call me *grumpy*. Well, wouldn't you be grumpy if some newcomer came along to steal your spotlight? What do they expect? And I'll tell you another thing: he stinks! Especially his beard. Mom even calls him Mr. Stinky Face.
The only thing I have over him is that I still get to sleep with mom and he doesn't. So there! Hopefully, this will all blow over and my life can return to normal. Otherwise, I'm afraid that I may require intensive psychotherapy. Can anyone refer a reputable analyst?
At first, I kinda felt sorry for the little guy and even tried to protect him, but all bets are off now.
Mom and dad have the nerve to call me *grumpy*. Well, wouldn't you be grumpy if some newcomer came along to steal your spotlight? What do they expect? And I'll tell you another thing: he stinks! Especially his beard. Mom even calls him Mr. Stinky Face.
The only thing I have over him is that I still get to sleep with mom and he doesn't. So there! Hopefully, this will all blow over and my life can return to normal. Otherwise, I'm afraid that I may require intensive psychotherapy. Can anyone refer a reputable analyst?
Friday, August 26, 2005
A New Brother
Has everyone seen my new sibling, Leo (Leonardo)? Click on his picture if you get a minute. Admittedly, he is cute and sweet, but nowhere *near* as cute as me.
I fiercely protected him when he first arrived last weekend 'cause mom said he had a hurt head. I didn't want Spenser and Chance to scare him. They have this obnoxious way of saying hello.
Can you believe I'm not even jealous? Besides, Leo has some really good and different tasting food than the boring fare I have been given day after day. When mom opens his crate door, I have learned to position myself just right so I can grab a few morsels. Mmmm, tasty!
Today is Leo's 5th day in our house and he has gone from being unsteady on his legs to running! It's true! This morning he actually ran.
Mom is going to have to do something about his multiple, daily eliminations though. He goes poo-poo and pee-pee anytime, anywhere. If the mood strikes, he'll go from innocently sitting, to the potty position. Mom and dad don't even fuss about it. They say, "Oh Leo. You're such a potty machine!" If I did that, bet I'd get my butt popped. Maybe it's because he's sick. When he gets well, they'd better make him mind. The rest of us have to.
Other than those minor infractions, I think I'm going to like Leo. He is just my size, he's friendly, he's cute, and most importantly, he has gourmet food which he doesn't mind sharing.
I fiercely protected him when he first arrived last weekend 'cause mom said he had a hurt head. I didn't want Spenser and Chance to scare him. They have this obnoxious way of saying hello.
Can you believe I'm not even jealous? Besides, Leo has some really good and different tasting food than the boring fare I have been given day after day. When mom opens his crate door, I have learned to position myself just right so I can grab a few morsels. Mmmm, tasty!
Today is Leo's 5th day in our house and he has gone from being unsteady on his legs to running! It's true! This morning he actually ran.
Mom is going to have to do something about his multiple, daily eliminations though. He goes poo-poo and pee-pee anytime, anywhere. If the mood strikes, he'll go from innocently sitting, to the potty position. Mom and dad don't even fuss about it. They say, "Oh Leo. You're such a potty machine!" If I did that, bet I'd get my butt popped. Maybe it's because he's sick. When he gets well, they'd better make him mind. The rest of us have to.
Other than those minor infractions, I think I'm going to like Leo. He is just my size, he's friendly, he's cute, and most importantly, he has gourmet food which he doesn't mind sharing.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Rock Stars Suck
Hi everyone. Once again, my mom is derelict in helping me with my diary entries. Sigh! And something else has been going on. She's been watching this Rock Star INXS thing in the big black box for 2 weeks. I'm feeling quite put-out with the whole situation. It seems to me that she loves JD, MiG and Marty more than me. She can't even reach in and pet those people for goodness' sake! Here I am, begging for attention, and she's shushing me and waving me away with her hand. Not only that, she makes it so loud that I have to cover my ears with my paws! I have now turned my attention over to Daddy, who appreciates me so much more. I'm gonna sit snuggly with my daddy while she claps and hoots for people that can't even hear her. Grow up mom, please!
Wednesday, July 6, 2005
Abandonment Issues and Backyard Adventures
My mom has been too busy lately to help me write. She really needs to make more time for me, Lord of the Manor. How dare she devote time to other things? Anyway, I'm baaack.
A couple of weeks ago mom and dad drove away and they were gone for a really long time. Mom at least had the foresight to send her human boy, Michael, to stay with us. The first night, I refused to sleep in the bed with him, but by the 2nd night, I relented, as I was starting to feel quite lonely. I missed my mommy, what can I say?
The first night, “Spenser the Idiot” ate two toads. Michael had to call my mom on the phone because “the Idiot” began foaming at the mouth. Fortunately, the toads in our area are not toxic; they just taste really bad. Spenser either doesn't care or is too stupid to care. From that point on, our caretaker was forced to go on toad patrol before every potty break. I keep telling mom that Spenser needs to go live on a farm somewhere. He’s always on the prowl for rabbits, birds, and now TOADS. Yuk!
Finally, mom and dad returned. We ganged up on them and greeted them in that obnoxious way we have. We were so happy to see them that we didn’t let them know how angry we really were for abandoning us. Michael was a pretty good substitute, so it's all good.
A couple of weeks ago mom and dad drove away and they were gone for a really long time. Mom at least had the foresight to send her human boy, Michael, to stay with us. The first night, I refused to sleep in the bed with him, but by the 2nd night, I relented, as I was starting to feel quite lonely. I missed my mommy, what can I say?
The first night, “Spenser the Idiot” ate two toads. Michael had to call my mom on the phone because “the Idiot” began foaming at the mouth. Fortunately, the toads in our area are not toxic; they just taste really bad. Spenser either doesn't care or is too stupid to care. From that point on, our caretaker was forced to go on toad patrol before every potty break. I keep telling mom that Spenser needs to go live on a farm somewhere. He’s always on the prowl for rabbits, birds, and now TOADS. Yuk!
Finally, mom and dad returned. We ganged up on them and greeted them in that obnoxious way we have. We were so happy to see them that we didn’t let them know how angry we really were for abandoning us. Michael was a pretty good substitute, so it's all good.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Personal Hygiene Issues
Last night the horrible deed was finally carried out. Mom has been threatening it for weeks. We were forced to endure “The Dreaded Nail Trim”. Only some of us were imposed upon though. One of us managed to escape and I’ll explain that later. First, mom and dad ganged up on me…their poor little orphan. Daddy held on firmly while mom clipped away. I yelped and squirmed with all my might. I WAS FURIOUS. It was of no use; Daddy’s very strong. Afterwards, I was given the obligatory treat, which I busied myself with in an effort to blot out the horrendous incident.
Chance mistakenly thought mom wanted to shake his paw. He loves to give mom paw. She took it in her hand and whipped out the shiny chrome clipper from behind her back. He didn’t realize what was happening at first (he’s a little slow). When he did realize what was happening, he tried to run off, but mom was smart. She brought out treats for Round II. Chance is a sucker for treats. For each nail, he got a piece of a treat. I only got one treat for ALL my nails. How unfair is that?
Spenser let mom clip one nail and he was outta there! He wouldn’t even come to her with the lure of a treat. Spenser has a lot of willpower. Chance and I, not so much. We're treat junkies. Mom lost that battle with Spenser, but I know she'll get him sooner or later.
Chance mistakenly thought mom wanted to shake his paw. He loves to give mom paw. She took it in her hand and whipped out the shiny chrome clipper from behind her back. He didn’t realize what was happening at first (he’s a little slow). When he did realize what was happening, he tried to run off, but mom was smart. She brought out treats for Round II. Chance is a sucker for treats. For each nail, he got a piece of a treat. I only got one treat for ALL my nails. How unfair is that?
Spenser let mom clip one nail and he was outta there! He wouldn’t even come to her with the lure of a treat. Spenser has a lot of willpower. Chance and I, not so much. We're treat junkies. Mom lost that battle with Spenser, but I know she'll get him sooner or later.
Friday, June 10, 2005
News Flash
This morning I overheard several key words between my human parents to cause me great alarm. I gathered that Spenser gets to go to work with mommy at the animal emergency clinic tonight – alone. A grave injustice is about to take place. In all fairness though, Spenser has some sort of growth on his rib cage that gives him the special privilege of a one-on-one with one of the docs. I wish Spenser well and all, but I’m feeling very anxious about the entire situation. Chance is so co-dependant, he is going to flip out when mom puts Spenser in the car and drives away. I will be stuck in my crate forced to endure Chance’s incessant whining until daddy gets home.
In other news, Callie came over to play on Wednesday. It took me a good 30 minutes to warm up to her. Once I did, we played and chased each other around the house for a long time. When she left, I was exhausted. Too pooped to do anything but curl up in mom’s arms and drift into peaceful a sleep. That felt really good.
In other news, Callie came over to play on Wednesday. It took me a good 30 minutes to warm up to her. Once I did, we played and chased each other around the house for a long time. When she left, I was exhausted. Too pooped to do anything but curl up in mom’s arms and drift into peaceful a sleep. That felt really good.
Friday, June 3, 2005
Adventures in the ER
Yesterday, after discussing with daddy what to do with me for the evening, mom turned to me and said, "Daddy’s working late tonight…wanna go for a RIDE?" Well, my vocabulary is proficient enough to know what RIDE means. Plus, she hangs on the word RIDE for emphasis. As soon as the word came out of her mouth, I jumped off her lap, twirled around, and wagged my tail fast and furious. That is my way of saying "Yes Ma’am!"
I did not realize she was taking me to the animal ER though. The action I observed there may have scarred me for life. As soon as we got there, it was hit the deck and run mode. Mom hurriedly put down a blanket for me in a cage where I faced all the action; then she shut the door and started running.
The first thing I saw was a Mastiff named Lexie who had been in labor over 24 hours. Prior to her arrival she delivered 6 puppies at home, but still had 3 puppies in her tummy. Lexie is the biggest creature I have ever seen. Several nurses lifted her up on the table and put a mask over her face. It took 4 people to hold her down, but soon she was out cold. Dr. P. then did the unthinkable: she took a sharp blade and cut Lexie’s stomach open. One puppy was quickly lifted out and it was not breathing. They worked and worked to try to breathe life into the pup, but it was too late. Pups 2 and 3 came out healthy with no problems, except they whined a lot and couldn’t open their eyes.
The next thing to come in was a hit by car dog. He was pretty banged up and rushed to the room where they take pictures (which, by the way, look nothing like the pictures mom takes of us). Next, a tiny kitten arrived who had been attacked by a dog from her own family! She also went to the room where they take pictures. Before I knew it, two neurotic-looking Cocker Spaniels strolled in. Their parents handed my mom a chewed up CD in a plastic bag. They also were sent to the picture room. When Dr. F. looked at their pictures, she determined they needed to vomit. Each Cocker received a shot in the derriere, which they both intensely objected to. Soon thereafter, one of the Cockers threw up a lot of CD pieces and the other one vomited up a bunch of paper.
Other cases I saw were: a ripped off nail, diarrhea with blood, kennel cough, dehydration, diabetes, another hit by car dog, a “dead on arrival” dog, a candle that fell on a cat’s leg (more pictures), and 2 euthanasias.
My daddy finally came to pick me up about 9PM. I was never so happy to see my daddy. What a night! I don’t know how mom deals with that place twice a week. Perhaps that is why she's always so happy to see me when she comes home.
I did not realize she was taking me to the animal ER though. The action I observed there may have scarred me for life. As soon as we got there, it was hit the deck and run mode. Mom hurriedly put down a blanket for me in a cage where I faced all the action; then she shut the door and started running.
The first thing I saw was a Mastiff named Lexie who had been in labor over 24 hours. Prior to her arrival she delivered 6 puppies at home, but still had 3 puppies in her tummy. Lexie is the biggest creature I have ever seen. Several nurses lifted her up on the table and put a mask over her face. It took 4 people to hold her down, but soon she was out cold. Dr. P. then did the unthinkable: she took a sharp blade and cut Lexie’s stomach open. One puppy was quickly lifted out and it was not breathing. They worked and worked to try to breathe life into the pup, but it was too late. Pups 2 and 3 came out healthy with no problems, except they whined a lot and couldn’t open their eyes.
The next thing to come in was a hit by car dog. He was pretty banged up and rushed to the room where they take pictures (which, by the way, look nothing like the pictures mom takes of us). Next, a tiny kitten arrived who had been attacked by a dog from her own family! She also went to the room where they take pictures. Before I knew it, two neurotic-looking Cocker Spaniels strolled in. Their parents handed my mom a chewed up CD in a plastic bag. They also were sent to the picture room. When Dr. F. looked at their pictures, she determined they needed to vomit. Each Cocker received a shot in the derriere, which they both intensely objected to. Soon thereafter, one of the Cockers threw up a lot of CD pieces and the other one vomited up a bunch of paper.
Other cases I saw were: a ripped off nail, diarrhea with blood, kennel cough, dehydration, diabetes, another hit by car dog, a “dead on arrival” dog, a candle that fell on a cat’s leg (more pictures), and 2 euthanasias.
My daddy finally came to pick me up about 9PM. I was never so happy to see my daddy. What a night! I don’t know how mom deals with that place twice a week. Perhaps that is why she's always so happy to see me when she comes home.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Mailbox Meanderings
Last night, mom was expecting her human child to knock on the front door at any moment. Hearing a knock, she flung the door open, but instead of her boy, two frightened sales people stood in horror. That's because Chance rushed at them in his overzealous manner to greet them with his wet nose. The lady threw her arms up in the air and screamed. Mom yelled Chance’s name and motioned him back inside. The little brown-noser respectfully submitted to her command.
Seeing a perfect opportunity, I slipped out the door as Chance was coming in. The mailboxes had not been marked in quite some time, so I did not want to squander my good fortune. I ran down the street, lifting my leg high on each box. Mom was really mad at me, yelling my name and demanding that I return to her. Couldn't she see I was working the block? When her brisk walk turned into a run, I knew the jig was up, so I emptied myself at the last mailbox and squatted down to let her know I surrendered.
Spenser was the only one who did not go outside and Chance quickly obeyed mom’s command to return to the den. Those two boot-lickers have made me look bad. Now I have been completely exposed as the rebellious one of the pack. No matter, I have made my presence known to every home on our side of the street. The reprimand I received was worth it I suppose. Besides, mom never stays mad at me for long. How could she? My big black eyes turn her into mush every single time.
Seeing a perfect opportunity, I slipped out the door as Chance was coming in. The mailboxes had not been marked in quite some time, so I did not want to squander my good fortune. I ran down the street, lifting my leg high on each box. Mom was really mad at me, yelling my name and demanding that I return to her. Couldn't she see I was working the block? When her brisk walk turned into a run, I knew the jig was up, so I emptied myself at the last mailbox and squatted down to let her know I surrendered.
Spenser was the only one who did not go outside and Chance quickly obeyed mom’s command to return to the den. Those two boot-lickers have made me look bad. Now I have been completely exposed as the rebellious one of the pack. No matter, I have made my presence known to every home on our side of the street. The reprimand I received was worth it I suppose. Besides, mom never stays mad at me for long. How could she? My big black eyes turn her into mush every single time.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Communication is Everything
As any good dog knows, a decent vocabulary is necessary to function properly within the human pack. “Outside”, “ride”, “treat”, “food”, “time to eat”, “toy”, “night-night”, and “good boy” are words which keep me well-informed.
Other cues are vital as well. If the door is opened where my leash sits, then I know we’re going to leave the house and go on an adventure. If the treat jar is opened after I return from performing *unmentionable duties*, then I sit up straight and wait patiently for my goody. If the parents stuff my Kong toy with liver paste, I run like the wind to my crate. Kongs stuffed with treats always mean that mom and dad are going to be gone for a few hours. They think it helps pass my time in the crate, but I have news for them; I can lick out that liver paste in a matter of minutes.
It’s easy to figure the human parents out, but you have to pay close attention. It takes a life of dedication to master it. One must be a keen observer of body language and human utterances. Cadence is important as well. For instance, I know mom is pleased with me when she says in her sing-song voice, “Good boy, Sparky”. The sing-song voice is the best.
That's all the advice I have for now. Toodle-oo all.
Other cues are vital as well. If the door is opened where my leash sits, then I know we’re going to leave the house and go on an adventure. If the treat jar is opened after I return from performing *unmentionable duties*, then I sit up straight and wait patiently for my goody. If the parents stuff my Kong toy with liver paste, I run like the wind to my crate. Kongs stuffed with treats always mean that mom and dad are going to be gone for a few hours. They think it helps pass my time in the crate, but I have news for them; I can lick out that liver paste in a matter of minutes.
It’s easy to figure the human parents out, but you have to pay close attention. It takes a life of dedication to master it. One must be a keen observer of body language and human utterances. Cadence is important as well. For instance, I know mom is pleased with me when she says in her sing-song voice, “Good boy, Sparky”. The sing-song voice is the best.
That's all the advice I have for now. Toodle-oo all.
Monday, May 23, 2005
Hot as Hades in Texas
Boy, yesterday was HOT! I did my business and trotted right back to the door. I was very clear in signaling my desire to go back inside. The poor dog next door and my neighbor across the alley have to live outside all the time. They've barked their objections night and day, to no avail.
Our local emergency vet clinic saw three cases of heat stroke in dogs on Saturday. Two had to be euthanized and one died before it even got to the hospital. Don't humans know that if we're not accustomed to extreme heat yet, it can kill you? One lady said her dog had only been outside for 2 hours and it collapsed. I'm glad my mom knows all this stuff and keeps me and my brothers out of danger.
On a happier note, I'm still smelling sweet from my bath, which affords me great cuddle time with mom and dad...until I yawn. For some reason my yawn hangs in the air for a while which makes mom wrinkle her nose. I think it's a wonderful smell. I don't know why she objects to it.
Our local emergency vet clinic saw three cases of heat stroke in dogs on Saturday. Two had to be euthanized and one died before it even got to the hospital. Don't humans know that if we're not accustomed to extreme heat yet, it can kill you? One lady said her dog had only been outside for 2 hours and it collapsed. I'm glad my mom knows all this stuff and keeps me and my brothers out of danger.
On a happier note, I'm still smelling sweet from my bath, which affords me great cuddle time with mom and dad...until I yawn. For some reason my yawn hangs in the air for a while which makes mom wrinkle her nose. I think it's a wonderful smell. I don't know why she objects to it.
Friday, May 20, 2005
Bathing Adventures
We were all enjoying our evening in the backyard last night when mom walked outside holding a bottle filled with green, apple-flavored liquid. Innocently, we all ran up to her excitedly, thinking it was a new kind of treat. WRONG!
First, she went to the side yard and turned on the water hose. Next, she tried to coax Spenser over to the hose which by now was spewing and spurting water and making scary noises. He laid down far away from it and refused to come. All the coaxing in the world could not get Spenser near that hose, so mom dragged him by the collar and pointed the end of the hose at him and a huge gush of water drenched him.
Chance and I fled the scene as soon as we realized what was going on. I hid behind a bush and Chance was under the window trying to look inconspicuous.
After a while Spenser calmed down and seemed to enjoy it. Mom poured the apple-smelling stuff all over him and rubbed it in until it was all foamy and white. Out came the volcanic hose to drench him again, but this time, he didn't try to run away. He actually seemed to like it. After it was all over, he ran around and around, shaking his coat and getting everyone in his path wet.
Chance was next and he was not as accepting of the situation as Spenser. Mom achieved her goal, but it was a battle from start to finish. She was completely soaked from head to toe. Her glasses slid right off her face.
Knowing I was next, I tried to hide from the cruelty I knew awaited me; however, mom found me cowering near the tropical plants. She scooped me up and brought me indoors. Ah! I thought I was going to avoid the torture, but it was not to be. She marched upstairs with me in her arms, holding the apple liquid and entered the bathroom. She placed me in that deep abyss she calls her beautiful garden tub and nearly drowned me. And I'm not exaggerating either!
We're all clean as whistles now. Mom and Dad no longer say, "Pew! You stink!" They gush and say how good we smell and how soft our fur is. I guess it was worth it; however, I did hear something this morning about nail trims (yikes!)...will keep you posted.
First, she went to the side yard and turned on the water hose. Next, she tried to coax Spenser over to the hose which by now was spewing and spurting water and making scary noises. He laid down far away from it and refused to come. All the coaxing in the world could not get Spenser near that hose, so mom dragged him by the collar and pointed the end of the hose at him and a huge gush of water drenched him.
Chance and I fled the scene as soon as we realized what was going on. I hid behind a bush and Chance was under the window trying to look inconspicuous.
After a while Spenser calmed down and seemed to enjoy it. Mom poured the apple-smelling stuff all over him and rubbed it in until it was all foamy and white. Out came the volcanic hose to drench him again, but this time, he didn't try to run away. He actually seemed to like it. After it was all over, he ran around and around, shaking his coat and getting everyone in his path wet.
Chance was next and he was not as accepting of the situation as Spenser. Mom achieved her goal, but it was a battle from start to finish. She was completely soaked from head to toe. Her glasses slid right off her face.
Knowing I was next, I tried to hide from the cruelty I knew awaited me; however, mom found me cowering near the tropical plants. She scooped me up and brought me indoors. Ah! I thought I was going to avoid the torture, but it was not to be. She marched upstairs with me in her arms, holding the apple liquid and entered the bathroom. She placed me in that deep abyss she calls her beautiful garden tub and nearly drowned me. And I'm not exaggerating either!
We're all clean as whistles now. Mom and Dad no longer say, "Pew! You stink!" They gush and say how good we smell and how soft our fur is. I guess it was worth it; however, I did hear something this morning about nail trims (yikes!)...will keep you posted.
Friday, May 6, 2005
Happy Birthday Daddy!
For my super special present to Daddy, I've decided to give him a big pooch smooch - right on the mouth. He can't resist me or my doggie-style kisses. Who can? I am irresistible. Then, I will wag my tail to show him how happy I am that he has lived another year. After that, I will climb up the chair and perch on his shoulder, all the while licking his face and getting his glasses all slimed up. He just loves that.
Mom and Dad casually mentioned that they are going to Outback tonight for a big, juicy steak. They're so nonchalant about it, like it's no big deal. Are they kidding?! This is huge! Mmmmmm...the thought of that filet mignon makes me drool and my tail is wagging so fast I'm almost coming off the ground. I bet if I rub my scent all over them before they leave, they will think of me at the dinner table and bring back a little nibble. I'll do anything to get a bite of that steak.
I sound like an addict, don't I?
Mom and Dad casually mentioned that they are going to Outback tonight for a big, juicy steak. They're so nonchalant about it, like it's no big deal. Are they kidding?! This is huge! Mmmmmm...the thought of that filet mignon makes me drool and my tail is wagging so fast I'm almost coming off the ground. I bet if I rub my scent all over them before they leave, they will think of me at the dinner table and bring back a little nibble. I'll do anything to get a bite of that steak.
I sound like an addict, don't I?
Thursday, May 5, 2005
Dietary Indiscretions
This week I've been a little under the weather. Dad thinks it's because I'm getting too much people food. My dietary indiscretions should be my own business. Even though I rule the world, I don't rule the kitchen (how can that be?) so I must rely on begging for any sort of tasty morsels. Barbecue pulled pork has been on the menu the last 2 nights. Yummeeeee! Despite my pleading black eyes, Dad only gave me the tiniest crumb from his English muffin this morning. As soon as my perkiness returns, I'm hoping they'll forget about all this and return to giving me their leftovers. Breakfast, lunch and dinner are the few bright spots in my otherwise long and boring days on earth.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
I Was Tortured
Mom announced the other night that we were going to take "pictures" for the Mother's Day Stroll on Dogster. Out came the camera contraption, a clicking sound, and then a bright light which blinded me for several seconds. Just as I was recovering, Dad clicked again. That camera-thingy is nothing but a torture device. They might as well declare war on us. Spenser and Chance agreed with me for once.
Chance acted like he had rigor mortis when mom tried to make him sit next to her. You can see poor Chance panting in the picture. Spenser twirled around like a tornado for several minutes and totally disobeyed the "sit" command. Mom was getting really flustered. Finally, he plopped on the floor, worn out and dizzy. Mom threw herself over him, put him in a head-lock, and yelled, "Hurry Daddy, take it now!"
Our sister Callie on the other hand, is like a supermodel. She has her sexy pose with the sock in her mouth, her wind-blown look, the Farrah smile, etc. I'm sure her cuteness lets her get away with anything. And she's not afraid of the blinding, torture device either.
I'm so glad the photo session is over. Hopefully, we won't be forced to endure that exercise again until Christmas!
Chance acted like he had rigor mortis when mom tried to make him sit next to her. You can see poor Chance panting in the picture. Spenser twirled around like a tornado for several minutes and totally disobeyed the "sit" command. Mom was getting really flustered. Finally, he plopped on the floor, worn out and dizzy. Mom threw herself over him, put him in a head-lock, and yelled, "Hurry Daddy, take it now!"
Our sister Callie on the other hand, is like a supermodel. She has her sexy pose with the sock in her mouth, her wind-blown look, the Farrah smile, etc. I'm sure her cuteness lets her get away with anything. And she's not afraid of the blinding, torture device either.
I'm so glad the photo session is over. Hopefully, we won't be forced to endure that exercise again until Christmas!
Monday, April 25, 2005
Thanks, Dogster!
My diary was the Featured Diary of the Day on Saturday. Thank you Dogster. My mom and I were so excited. More new friends and e-mail messages. Can't have enough of those, right? I love to receive nice, happy thoughts from people all over the world. I'm a tough guy on the outside, but inside, I'm all sweet and gushy (according to my peoples).
There's been a new development when mom comes home from work late at night. Spenser and I bark and growl over who gets to be closest to mom on the bed. We argue for about five minutes and finally settle in. Mom is the true alpha of our pack, so we eventually give it up when she fusses at us. This happens every single night. I'm not about to give up the choice spot, under the covers, next to her knees. Spenser takes up half the bed, the big goon. He has another thing coming if he thinks I'm going to let him take over.
Chance has some weird phobia about being on furniture. Mom says he's always been that way. Even if she coaxes, he may jump on the bed for a few seconds on rare occasions, then gets a scared look in his eyes and jumps down. More room for me is how I look at it. His phobia is my gain. Now, if I could only get Spenser to mind me! There's no way I'm going to let that big oaf edge me off the bed. The way I see it, I'm second in command and he has to obey my wishes. I'm going to get him trained if it's the last thing I do! Grrrr.
There's been a new development when mom comes home from work late at night. Spenser and I bark and growl over who gets to be closest to mom on the bed. We argue for about five minutes and finally settle in. Mom is the true alpha of our pack, so we eventually give it up when she fusses at us. This happens every single night. I'm not about to give up the choice spot, under the covers, next to her knees. Spenser takes up half the bed, the big goon. He has another thing coming if he thinks I'm going to let him take over.
Chance has some weird phobia about being on furniture. Mom says he's always been that way. Even if she coaxes, he may jump on the bed for a few seconds on rare occasions, then gets a scared look in his eyes and jumps down. More room for me is how I look at it. His phobia is my gain. Now, if I could only get Spenser to mind me! There's no way I'm going to let that big oaf edge me off the bed. The way I see it, I'm second in command and he has to obey my wishes. I'm going to get him trained if it's the last thing I do! Grrrr.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
The Rabbits Have Returned
Rabbits are back on our turf again! Man, I am chompin' at the bit every five minutes to be let outside. Mom and Dad won't allow us to torture the furry little creatures, the big meanies. Seems like the rabbits should be able to figure out that our yard is not the safest place in the neighborhood to hang out. There are mounds of proof all over the place. If Spenser gets ahold of one, there's going to be hell to pay!
Everyone that's seen my "ear" picture thinks I look tough. Perhaps all the other canines will steer clear now and I can rule the world. I thought I already did, but my gruff exterior may make it a bit easier. People say I'm small, but I see something completely different when I look in the mirror. Why, I'm as big as a Great Dane in my eyes.
Everyone that's seen my "ear" picture thinks I look tough. Perhaps all the other canines will steer clear now and I can rule the world. I thought I already did, but my gruff exterior may make it a bit easier. People say I'm small, but I see something completely different when I look in the mirror. Why, I'm as big as a Great Dane in my eyes.
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